...Or rather, it doesn't. Chaos and confusion reign. Again. Apparently, yesterday on my day off, the entire computer network went down, as it is wont to do, and will be wont to do until they stop trying to network 100 computers over two buildings in two seperate counties, via a 14.4 router and a couple of dymo labelers. In response, every poor sod was doing their job talking to the loonies we get on the phone, while trying to scribble everything down on paper. Today, with the systems back up, one of the more useless two-stars assigned five of my colleagues - about half of the people that were in that early in the morning, to copying out these ferking forms onto the network, instead of taking calls. Fair enough, I understand that some of them are urgent and need to be dealt with, but the manager was told to keep these people on data entry only as long as calls didn't start queueing in the system. Which they did.
Oh boy, they did. 9:30, two hours after I started my shift, an hour after call queues started lighting the board up red (we actually have software that displays how many calls are queueing and how long they've been holding on, so next time you're in a queue to someone in customer service or whatever, they DO know you're there...) queues are hitting the roof, 3 or 4 on emergency calls, 7 or 8 queueing to report urgent situations, and about TWENTY FIVE queueing to ask stupid questions like "can peacocks fly?" or to make stupid statements like "It's bleeding from its head - I think it's got a broken leg" - I swear, I took both calls where the caller came out with that...
The day wore on, it was clear that we - because my 5 colleagues were STILL on data entry instead of call taking (except they weren't, because they were ferking busy chatting instead) - wouldn't have a cat in hell's chance - no pun intended - of meeting our targets to answer xyz number of calls in the first 60 seconds... So I go down on my lunch break, and in walks my friend. Let's call him employee X;
Employee X is one of the more senior guys on the floor, not actually above me but a hell of a lot more experienced, both in the job and in life in general. Nearly some 40 years my senior, he has my respect both as a colleague and as a person. Anyway, I digress. He hates the job. Almost as much as I do, because of his maturing years, he knows better than to show it, but when having private chats among friends, he makes it clear he hates the job.
Anyway - [my company] have actually had the damn cheek to haul Employee X up in front of two two-stars so they can grill him because he's not adhering to his contract - which in any other job, would be fine. But in MY job, for [my company], the company apparently has the right to change the terms and conditions of your contract, as well as your job role and duties, with very little notice and without your approval, like it or lump it. This is as far as I'm aware, damned illegal. Except knowing [my company], it will probably be illegal in such a way that only a £50,000 solicitor/lawyer could sue them for.
Anyway, he's decided after talking to his wife to push the issue as far as he can take it. In his own words, he's being interviewed by the two worst managers on the unit. One who thinks that Dublin is in Northern Ireland, and another one who's so wet that he's been nicknamed "Jellyfish - because he has no spine". So it'll be interesting to see how that turns out.
And then I got a call from a prick of a solicitor who wanted to defend some animal-beating shit, asking for the email address of a particular inspector/enforcement officer/welfare guy type person. The following is paraphrased a little, but this's basically how it turned out:
Lawyer: I need to send an email to one of your officers. What's Officer X's email address?
Me: They don't have email addresses.
Lawyer: What?! Okay, what's his fax number, I need to fax him a letter.
Me: They don't have fax numbers, all communication is done via radio.
Lawyer: Well I've left a message which was sent by radio and he hasn't got back to me.
Me: All I can really do is send him another message. I can see if I can fast track it if it would help?
Lawyer: No, I need an email address or something, or I could send a letter, [organisation] is a big organisation, how do people send the inspectors letters?
Me: They don't. All communication is done via 2-way radio.
Lawyer: So where do people send letters that they want to go to [organisation]? How do they contact specific officers?
Me: To send letters to [organisation], they send them to our head office. To contact specific officers, they phone the main control office, and we relay the messages to the inspectors via 2 WAY RADIO.
Lawyer: You know, you can't transmit letters via radio, there has to be a way I can get this letter to [officer]. I will send this to your head office. What will happen then?
Me: The head office will phone us, and relay the message to us. We then relay it VIA TWO WAY RADIO to our Officer. Why are you sending a letter? Wouldn't it just be quicker for me to send this message right now, for you?
Lawyer: Oh yes, of course. I require you to send this message immediatley, but I will also send the letter...
Anyway, I politely but as unpleasantly as I could get away with, ended the call, treating the prick to one of my "goodbye *click*" endings, that only the real bad idiot callers get... God that guy must be a good lawyer, almost had me believing that white is black and left is white. You don't "require" me to do anything, you civilian pen-pushing sellout prick. (not all solicitors are bad, it's just the majority that spoil it for everyone else. I've never spoken to one who wasn't a ferking arsehole).
Anyway, that was friday morning/afternoon. Anyone want it? It's going cheap!
FRIDAY AFTERNOON
I got home, erm, like I usually do, on the bus, which erm, isn't really worth talking about so let's skip to the interesting bit...
SOME OF MY PARCELS CAME!!!
About five of the bloody things waiting for me when I got back! Half of my ammo, including my rarden shell! That thing is bloody massive! Then we went swimming as a family, which was pretty nice.
Was bored when I got back, so I went online, ordered some more stuff, including four Black Talon cartridges which are at least as impressive as the colt long.45's that I've got sitting next to me. (For the latest pictures of my inert ammo collection, see the more recent posts...)
So... What else to add... I seem to have become completely obsessed with CoF now, having Thornography and Nymphetamine on almost constant replay. Still, it's all good, I just can't get enough of the stuff. Loving it!
Well time marches on, and I'll be asleep in another couple of hours, but hey, It's been a crap day with a good ending!
Oh. Hey. I learned to add pictures. That's cool, I'll do more of that in future!
SOME OF MY PARCELS CAME!!!
About five of the bloody things waiting for me when I got back! Half of my ammo, including my rarden shell! That thing is bloody massive! Then we went swimming as a family, which was pretty nice.
Was bored when I got back, so I went online, ordered some more stuff, including four Black Talon cartridges which are at least as impressive as the colt long.45's that I've got sitting next to me. (For the latest pictures of my inert ammo collection, see the more recent posts...)
So... What else to add... I seem to have become completely obsessed with CoF now, having Thornography and Nymphetamine on almost constant replay. Still, it's all good, I just can't get enough of the stuff. Loving it!
Well time marches on, and I'll be asleep in another couple of hours, but hey, It's been a crap day with a good ending!
Oh. Hey. I learned to add pictures. That's cool, I'll do more of that in future!
2 comments:
Same shit different day sums it up then.
Basically yeah. Except slightly more interesting.
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