Aarrrrgh!!

I am, at this moment, absolutely apopleptic with rage.
Seriously, I've got a headache and my hands are shaking with anger.

It all started when I went to sync my iPaq with my computer, to transfer the files from my PDA to my computer.
The plug went in. Nothing. No beep, no activesync.
I tried several more times, giving it the Eddie Izzard style "Cannot detect device? [holding ipaq up to the monitor] IT'S HERE!!!"

I uninstalled activesync, reinstalled it, restarted my computer several times, did several hard resets of the ipaq, losing all my data in the process, and still it wouldn't detect it.
This went on for an hour at which point the stylus got stuck inside the ipaq, and wouldn't budge.
After ten minutes of trying to free it, I lost my patience and launched the ipaq across the room into the wall (I have a habit of doing that).

I picked up the device and the now-free stylus, and turned it back on.
No touch screen. The touchscreen had stopped working.

I disassembled and reassembled the device several times, each time hearing the stupidly deafeningly loud beep as it reset itself. I lost patience with it and dropped the defunct pile of circuit boards at my feet, as I started searching ebay for a replacement.

Bingo!
Ipaq, spares repairs, needs new screen £0.99, 3 minutes to go.
I searched for a new screen - £5.99.

Fantastic, brand new PDA for £6, awesome way to go.

I counted down, and prepared to pounce, placing a bid of £10 on the ipaq.
with about 20 seconds to go, the screen went blank, and then went to the "please log in" screen.
I was halfway through my loudest "AAAAGGGHHHHH" to date, when I realised that the stupid thing wasn't even autofilling my log in details, so I had to type them in myself.

I finally managed to get back to the item, to find "Item won for 99p".
By someone else.

I went downstairs to say hi to my mum and enlighten her about the afternoon's events. I turned on the ipaq to demonstrate how it was no longer working, and even as I was jabbing the screen saying "Look, it doesn't work!!!" the happy little crosshairs on the screen were following my touches, saying "calibrating screen".

I feel like crying now, not out of sadness or anything, just out of sheer angry frustration. I've got an ipaq that does work, doesn't work, well it officially doesn't work yet it does.
And it still won't sync.
And it's eaten my stylus again.

Aaagh :(.

EDIT: And now a picture of a large parrot has appeared on the screen of my ipaq.
What. The. Hell.
I'm officially so angry I'm hallucinating, what the hell is a picture of a parrot doing on my ipaq?!

UPILOQLY

(A cross between an update, an epilogue, and a soliloquy)

I am now feeling quite considerably more calm. A fairly laid back four hour shift served to calm ny nerves - the opposite effect to the one it usually has - and I now feel quite a lot better (despite the fact that I left my bag containing all my tips at work - arrgh!). I brought my stricken ipaq back, and took it to bits again, and I've finally figured out what the problem is. Without going into detail, one of the "Flexible-Flat Cables" that connects the touchscreen to the motherboard has split, so the screen is effectively unplugged from the main board. This is not something I can fix, so my trusty Ipaq is I'm sad to say, defunct. It was a very useful gadget, I took it everywhere with me, and my frequent insistence that every little job I had to do was noted down on there, every appointment, reference number and birthday/anniversary, meant that it basically turned me from a disorganised loony into an organised loony, joined at the hip, dexter's lab style, with some sparkly shiny technological gizmo. So I've ordered another one. A nice sparkly modern one. It doesn't have the sleek curves of "my" Ipaq, and the screen is (slightly!) smaller, but it is more sparkly, more modern, AND you can upgrade the memory on it which for me is a big plus. So let's bid a teary goodbye to old Ipaq, and welcome the new one :-).

Epi-Epilogue:

Apparently the Parrot I saw was not a hallucination (in my furious state of mind, it wouldn't have surprised me if it was!). It is in fact something coded into the software, to entertain and calm the user, during what is actually a hardware memory problem. It's basically there to distract you from the fact that something has gone horribly badly wrong.
A very attractive creature it was, red and green and blue, very nice :-).

Here are some pictures - my old iPaq, and my new Ipaq.
Sorry about the huge image size - for some reason I can't figure out how to make linked images small like you can with uploaded ones.