Christmas Countdown - 8: Prugna Liquore (The movie Idea)

Today has been a productive day. I've accomplished a considerable amount of work on my dad's Xmas pressie, I've not got very much on it left to do before it's done and ready to be wrapped, and I've had a fairly steady day too.

I've put another three presents in the loft, and to be honest, that's about it. The most exciting thing that's happened to me today is eating a yummy cheeseburger with some coca cola while watching Dracula: Dead and Loving It.

On a related note, I must really recommend TVShack, it's a fantastic site, and while it doesn't have everything, it does have a huge amount of tv shows (star trek, father ted, bab 5, etc etc) as well as movies, documentaries etc. I also recently watched War of the Worlds (the crappy version) just to see how badly Spielberg and Tom Cruise could mutilate it between them.

The thing that makes me grin is how Tom Cruise's character is a dock worker, but still knows how to use an Anti Personnel Grenade (no, it's not simply a case of pulling the pin). On a related note, anyone who attaches grenades to themselves by the pin is an idiot, for obvious - or perhaps not very obvious (with fatal consequences) reasons.
The tripods were scary, and pretty convincing, I can't decide whether they're scarier than the Darkwalker or not though. But Tom Cruise has just completely lost all credibility with me, for reasons that Pat Condell goes into here, in his usual Articulate, funny and succinct manner.

That said, thankfully Mr Cruise seems to be able to keep his beliefs and his work seperate (unlike an increasing number of our workforce who finds that their job now offends their beliefs, whenever they are asked to do anything resembling work), and so perhaps the blame for War of the Worlds being a poor film, falls at Mr Spielberg's feet.

THE MOVIE IDEA

Perhaps in response, we should take "Independence Day", make it substantially more realistic, less cheesy and jingoistic, and have it directed by a British guy, to even the tables, I don't know.

We can have Simon Pegg as a wine drinking Royal Navy pilot who wants to get a seat in the European Space Project, getting woken up in his bed by his wife, while the earth shakes around them, only to insist that it's only legions of former British heroes revolving in their graves, before going back to sleep.

Of course, Jeff Goldblum, er, Lloyd Grossman, working for the BBC, figures out that the Aliens are trying to transmit a countdown signal over the BBC's network, but of course, the aliens find that after having travelled all this distance, their attack plans are completely ruined by the fact that the BBC did in fact record the entire countdown before the aliens ever turned up.

Pissed off, the aliens unleash a full frontal attack, all over the carpet, (before getting arrested for indecency and then quickly released when they complain loudly that getting arrested offends their beliefs) and the entire free world hangs on the success of Lloyd Grossman and Simon Pegg flying an Apollo space capsule stolen from the London Science Museum (the only alien construction the UK ever caught was shariah law).

With this, they have to contaminate the aliens' high tech computers on their mothership, with strains of the deadly "British Gas Billing System" virus (the one that makes all the numbers add up wrong),before launching a small nuclear warhead borrowed from the Americans (this occurs in space, so the labour government can't have them arrested for it), while all the while, a pissed up cider farmer from somerset, defies gordon brown and the human rights commisions by running interference down here by flying his F-18, er, Sea Harrier, er, do we have any armed forces left Mr Brown? (Yes, but no thanks to you), his cessna skyhawk into the underside of the alien ship in a clearly antisocial and racially motivated attack.

Of course, the labour government catch wind of this act of wilful damage on Bill Bailey's part, and gift millions of Taxpayer's money to the Aliens, by way of compensation, and to apologise for the damage to their nice shiny ships of mass destruction.

The aliens are then invited to "integrate into our culture" (A British phrase that is best translated into "Come among us and demand handouts for you and your descendants for as long as you are distinguishable from the native (hereafter known as the "poor bastards") population). They do so, and completely take over the nation without firing a single shot.

We can keep the title of the movie, "Independence" in this case refers to the entire world building a giant wall around the UK and keeping this horrible mess on the inside, much to the benefit of the rest of the world, who, now the aliens are distracted by a lifetime of BMW's and free money, are quite safe.

I kinda like that idea, maybe I should apply for a government grant to get the movie made.
I wonder if saying I'm "ethnic" as in "ethnic Yorkshire" will make it any more likely that I get free money.

But, hey, it's been a decent day so far I've had my little flight of fancy, and I'm off to bed soon, so let's make with the alcohol.

Today's random number generator picked bottle 8 - "Prugna"

BOTTLE EIGHT: PRUGNA

"Upon close inspection, (and considerable research) "prugna" would appear to be plum schnapps. I've only ever had peach schnapps before, and have found it to be quite nice. I don't eat plums, but I seem to remember them being rather bitter, so this could be interesting.
I've also managed to dig out my chocolates that we bought from harrods (there's £3.50 worth of chocolate here!), so I'll be enjoying these with my drink. Assuming that I enjoy my drink.
I shall just go and get it
...
Well, I'm rather surprised to sat that this drink smells almost exactly like the Amaretto I drank last night, it definitely smells of marzipan, and it's not cross contamination because I cleaned the glass thoroughly.

09:56: And now to taste it.
Well, I don't think it's Amaretto, but it definitely tastes similar. I would say there's a fruity taste in there but it could just be the water from the ice, or could even be psychological.

It's very different from the Schnapps that I've had in the past (Archers), I'd almost swear that this is Amaretto. Of course, it's not unpleasant, and the bitter aftertaste found in Amaretto isn't present, so I'm really really not sure what to make of this one. I'll have to do some more research while I eat my chocolates.

Peace.

Christmas Countdown - 9: Amaretto

Well, after turning the alarm off, I went out to see a friend only to be told that "he doesn't live here anymore". So much for getting back in touch with people, eh? I spent the rest of the day doing christmassy things, including wrapping a huge christmas present, as well as one smaller christmas present :). My life is so exciting at times!!!

Really though, after going to my potential employer AGAIN to ask what I was supposed to be doing, I was advised that the manager who offered me the job had in fact left without giving any notice or warning whatsoever, and everything was up in the air. AGAIN.
So I phoned the new manager today, who thankfully was not only delighted to have me onboard, but gave me a starting day - this wednesday.

Tired of being completely deaf in one ear, I also phoned the local surgery. A very pleasant nurse phoned me back and arranged a doctor's appointment for me, where it turned out that my ear was - wait for it - completely blocked with ear wax.
Reassuringly though, the doctor pointed out that there was nothing to be overly concerned about, and some time with the nurse should fix it - if it doesn't fix itself. I'm due to go back on friday if the former is required.

As for my Christmas countdown, well, today the random number picker picked number 2. Amaretto.

BOTTLE TWO: AMARETTO

This is also an old drink, and its origins, while not exactly lost in folklore, are at least pretty interested in it and considering borrowing a book on folklore from the local library.

Amaretto is a versatile drink, which is why I know that it is very nice in coffee, though I have to admit that I've never drunk it straight up. It's supposed to taste strongly of almonds, though some Amaretto is also made from apricot pits.

It's a rather pleasing golden colour, looks quite like a darker whisky.

21:54 Upon opening the bottle, you instantly notice the intense smell of marzipan. Not surprising since Amaretto and Marzipan are both made of almonds. It's quite a pleasant smell, and with Ice, the tiny 30cl bottle also goes quite far. I liked Amaretto in coffee, let's see if it's as nice on the rocks.
...
It's very unusual, not what I expected, it's not thick like Sambuca, being rather thin like whisky or vodka, but the drink definitely tastes intensely both of almonds, and of alcohol. There's a hint of a strange bitter-ish aftertaste that I'm not completely fond of, but on the whole, Amaretto seems to be quite nice, and at only (only!) 23% ABV, it's not going to get you too pished either :).

I've been wanting to try Amaretto ever since I tasted it in Coffee. You could ask "if you had it in coffee why not just drink it from the bottle instead". Because it was Amaretto flavoured instant coffee. one of those expensive sachets from those boxes that come with lots of different flavours of coffee.

So yes, another day, another few experiences. I'm going to have a shower and an early night, I want to be up super early to carry on working on my dad's pressie.

Here are the pics. Funnily enough, this glass is ALSO older than me. I'm not that young, honest. It's just a big deal in our family when someone breaks a glass.

Nighty night, folks!

Christmas Countdown - 10: Sambuca

Most normal people have chocolate advent calendars to cound down the days to Christmas day.

Not me. See, when my family came back from Italy, they brought me a little "try all these" package of ten different small bottles of spirits, liquors, etc etc, that are popular there.

Having taken up space in my parents' luggage all the way back from Italy, through Switzerland, Germany etc, these little bottles were destined for more than simply being pissed against the wall or casually wasted. They officially acquired a little sentimental value, and so I decided that they would be drunk at the appropriate time.

A few months ago I decided that I was going to use them as a sort of alcoholic advent calendar, I would start drinking on the fourteenth of december and finish my last one on christmas eve.

So without further ado, let's get to the drinking. I lined the bottles up, giving them individual numbers, and used an online random number generator to select a bottle at random. Today's bottle, the first one to kick us off, is bottle number five.

BOTTLE FIVE. SAMBUCA

Sambuca seems to be a very old drink, and is distilled from star anise. Therefore it tastes strongly of - wait for it - aniseed. So, off I go downstairs to fetch the Sambuca. It is actually 12:09 AM on the fifteenth, so I have actually missed the countdown, but operating on the basis that "today ends when I go to bed and tomorrow starts when I wake up", I'm okay.
Sambuca can be served after being set alight, but I don't want to burn it all and waste it, so I think I'll just get a shot glass.

Well, it definitely smells of aniseed. And it smells very strong too.

00:19 And now to drink it :)

Yikes. That stuff is rocket fuel. It's thicker/more viscous than most spirits so it coats the mouth nicely, and it definitely tastes very strongly of aniseed.

Actually I think it's pretty damn nice. I'll have to get myself a bottle - I've found a spirit I like!

After having taken a few sips, I notice that the taste definitely sticks, it's the sort of drink where you'd need to wash the taste away. It smells incredibly strongly, and as a pleasant warmth pervades my upper body, I note that at 40% alcohol, it's relatively strong too.

It's probably just as well that the bottle is only a miniscule 30ml (1.05 imperial ounces) bottle. I'd end up pissed, else.

What else have I been doing? I've finally actually gone and got the present for my ickle nephew that I really really wanted to get him. Pics below. Remember folks, this blog is Nephew-Proof until he reaches the age where santa stops existing.

Which reminds me - the sign to say that father christmas will be visiting on his van, is now up. He'll be round at 16:55 on the 24th, and my nephew and his mum will be coming to see him! fantastic!

Here are some pics anyways. The shot glass says Cognac, but it lies. This is sambuca. Incidentally, that glass is older than I am.

Peace.

Way On Down South...

London Town...

Yep, as is normal at this time of the year, my mum has coerced me into going to London with her.
Nothing wrong with that, I like the place enough, so I agreed to going along.

So, having got all my stuff ready the night before, I woke up (before the alarm went off) at what must have been about 4am, and spent the next hour, pissed off with my fortune, before the alarm made it clear that it was now time to get up.

So off we went, and after only what, 45 minutes of sitting around waiting for the coach, the thing turned up. Against my protests we ended up sat right at the front. "But you get a good view" you might think, and you'd be wrong. Ish.
A large sunscreen covered the top part of the windscreen, and the windows ended just above shoulder level. The portion of window I could see out of was mostly covered with no smoking signs and "well driven?" stickers. The seat didn't recline, and my seatbelt took about 10 minutes to pull itself tight after I fastened it.

But, after a four hours journey (it didn't seem that long) we ended up getting into Central London. We disembarked at Marble Arch and after a few minutes spent wandering through a warren of underpasses, we ended up in Hyde Park.

At the wrong end. You see, the weather in London yesterday wasn't that great, It was raining and it was cold, about 6c. We walked from Speaker's Corner to Knightsbridge, and by the time we got to the Serpentine, approx halfway there, we were soaked through (even the books for the trip that I'd put in my backpack were wet). But onwards we continued, and arrived at "Winter Wonderland", a Christmas market kindly set up for the City of London by our German friends.

Yep, everything was on sale, from Finnish (don't ask how Finnish products ended up at a German christmas market, I don't know either) Reindeer pelts (nice way to spend a lovely christmas, relaxing on one of Ruldolph's slaughtered mates. No, the animals were apparently killed for food and the pelts were a byproduct of the hunting) which were very soft, to Glühwein, or Frankfurter hotdogs (cooking on a HUGE (approx 5 foot across) grill pan hanging over a pit of glowing orange coals (sounds better than "cokes"), as well as arts and crafts, stalls selling various handmade items, plus a fairground (including a ghost train that promised, much to our amusement, "an experience that will haunt you through eternity/you will pass on through the generations"), a couple of cafes, and an ice skating rink.

All that was missing was the snow, and it would have been really really lovely.
Unfortunately, we didn't have snow, we had rain, and lots of it. We squelched around as people wearing binbags for protection from the rain wandered round, looking at the half empty rides, and the efforts of some of the staff of the largest cafe there (for a portable building it was BIG - they had a bar and grill and sky sports and everything) to sandbag the entrances so they wouldn't flood.
I watched as one kid working there, trying to help, picked up the wrong sandbag and watched its erstwhile nemesis flow through the gap created by this movement, and down towards the doors.
I think it made it as far as the floor inside.
We also took the opportunity to watch a poor kid skating on the ice rink (which itself was an inch deep in lovely just-above-freezing water) fall on his arse and get his trackies thoroughly soaked.

Eventually we left for Knightsbridge, getting to the other side, frankfurter-hotdog-less despite my pleadings, and we got into Harrods.
Well, Harrods is world famous, so I'm not going to go into its history. Interestingly though, I note that its motto is "All things for All people". And I'm gonna have to take exception to that.

Yes, Harrods sells practically anything, and incorporates an HMV and a Waterstone's (both the same company), but despite its best efforts (and the more I think about it the more I am beginning to believe that its motto may actually be more accurate than I give it credit for)
the place stinks of money. It might sell Krispy Kreme doughnuts for £2 each (made before your eyes!), and Gelato for £2.50 for a small plastic container, but it sells them on the same floor as £16,000 urns of tea and £1,300 jars of caviar.
No, Harrods isn't the place for me, it's too upmarket, you can't even go to the bathroom without some member of staff demanding that you have a good afternoon.
Don't get me wrong, the staff are incredibly polite, the range of products is incredible. Everything from popcorn to Bosendorfer grand pianos, mobile phones to 102-inch (I am not kidding!) plasma TVs. The interior decor is amazing with lush carpets, chandeliers, themed decor in different sections of the building, they score top marks on staff, building, and range of products.
And yet, something still doesn't sit right with me. I wander round the place buying things, and I still half-expect half a dozen security guards to suddenly ask me and my fellow shoppers to "please clear the room as His Imperial Majesty, Grand Poobar Vizier Spritzer-Hussar du Schleswig-Holstein the Third, is visiting shortly, once we can get all his personal entourage out of their fleet of Bentleys.

I get the feeling that me in all my red blooded normalness, and those like me, and even those not quite like me (the majority of people) are in the place at Harrods' sufferance, and despite the staff's good qualities, the entire shop would rather we all piss off so that more rich Schleswig-Holsteins will visit and spend a hundred billion Megaswiss Buckazoids on some new tassels for their curtains, or spend the cost of a new ferrarri on some "choice" food for their dog, which is invariably an annoying yappy little shi-t (no "zu" here).

We wandered round though, spent some money, I went to buy a new cleaning cloth for my camera lenses (which had fogged up incredibly due to the weather) and ended up £5 lighter in my pocket. 50p for the piece of toilet tissue sized cleaning cloth, and £4.50 for the privelige of owning a Harrods receipt that confirms that I was graciously allowed to spend money there.

I managed to sample some of the Gelato, which was absolutely brilliant. The best Ice Cream I've ever had. Even if they did charge us £2.50 for what works out at about 150ml of ice cream, if that. I looked around enviously at those at the nearby Gelato bar, eating huge massive sundaes piled high with the stuff. And then with a smile I remembered that my wallet still had money in it.

We ended up leaving. I came close to hitting people after getting bored with people bumping into me (always ugly people, attractive sexy people who I WANT to bump into me never seem to bother) and off we went to the Tower of London.

Which is weird because the Tower is actually a fortress, or at least a group of buildings. We took the opportunity to go to the Jewel House and see the actual real crown jewels, (when I think about it, I'm amazed that these things are on display), featuring the biggest diamond in the world, the second and third biggest, the fourth, sixth, seventh etc etc etc. Harrods might have reeked of money, but nowhere did I see a single item with a value of tens of millions. Here they were lined up by the dozen. Absolutely incredible.

I wandered around the Royal Armouries and took some photos, as it started to go dark.
The rain abated a little, and as we left the Tower, we noted that the ice rink (another one) situated in the old moat, that had had an inch or so of water on it, still had an inch of water on it, but was now thronged with people and was buzzing with life.

Eventually we went to get something to eat. Garfunkel's, on the Strand. I had some nachos, and a huge burger, and it was pretty good. Nothing worth going into too much detail about, a burger and a beer, it was nice. Even if the beer was a genuine "Sold in London at London Prices" beer, which means it cost us (my mum actually) £7 for two normal sized bottles.

After that, we went to a pub opposite the coach station, had another drink in there, and then waited a short time for the coach.

Whats more to say? Another four hours journey later, and we were home. I had a quick shower, and then very gratefully dove into bed. And slept for the next 12 hours.

Of course, here are the photos (of my trip not of me sleeping).



And as promised, I also have the photos from my trip to Kelham Island, with my family.



Peace.

Can someone turn the Christmas music up please!!!

Because I can't bloody hear it!

Yes, I woke up earlier, decided my hearing wasn't fantastic and decided to try to clean my ears.
Not a smart move, as this only made it worse, resulting in an almost total loss of hearing in my left ear.

So I've been to the chemist and got some eardrops, and now as well as being temporarily deaf in one ear, I am temporarily deaf in one ear with my ears full of liquid.

Bleah. Still, hopefully I should be back on form soon.

Christmas Preparations! Actual real ones this time!

10:34 Yep, I'm just at this minute putting the candle arch in my window, and then I'm gonna put the sparkly "glowworm" lights around my room.

And for some reason my sister has just turned up. Oh well, she can help!

16:53 After something of a busy day, I have cleaned the landing, banisters etc getting the house ready for putting the decorations up, and I've also managed to clear out the bottom drawer of my wardrobe, which was originally so messy it was a no-go area.
After over 6 hours and about as many cups of coffee, I'm now finally ready to put up my Christmas lights.

As an aside, My sister and I are not long returned from the local vets, who have scanned the dog, now named "Tess" for a microchip. No chip was found, which I suppose makes the dog exclusively my sister's responsibility. The vet also estimated the dog's age to be 6-12 months.

She continues to be cute, lovable, hyper and sociable.

17:11 I've now finally managed to get my personal Xmas lights up. They consist of nothing more than a 7-bulb candle arch, and a string of 200 "glow worm lights" (their name for twinkling multicoloured lights).
Putting decorations up is funny. It's fun and infuriating in equal measure.
A bit like my nephew who is currently kicking me and doing the opposite of whatever he is told.

22:32 Well, we've had a nice wander round, we took the dog for a walk along with my nephew, and we decided to turn the dog walk into a trip to the "Magical Christmas Kingdom" - the next estate, which has loads and loads of Xmas lights up already. We went to see our grandad - he seems to be doing well and we're looking forward to his visit on Christmas Day - and while we were out, we went on a little christmas quest:

The Christmas Quest

From my bedroom window, deep inside the next estate, on the distant hill facing our house, I can see one very brightly lit house, lit with a huge array of Christmas lights.

Curiosity has led me to wonder which house it is, on which road, and what the view from that place must be like. So tonight we set out, and after about 30 minutes walking we actually found the exact house that I can see all the way from my bedroom window. Looking back towards my house, and yep, you can see the candle arch in my bedroom window, far off in the distance.

Call me easily amused, but I think it added a little purpose to our nice christmassy trek, and it gave my nephew something to concentrate on :).

Well, we got back to find that one set of christmas lights has stopped working (always always happens every christmas, apparently, to every family), other than that, my mum's been working hard to get the tree decorated.

Well, I'm relaxing with sponge and custard now, in my nicely decorated bedroom. Once that's done, I'm off to bed :).

Night :).

Christmas Preparations!

Not medical preparations, not preparation H or anything like that, and nothing herbal either, just generally getting ready for Christmas.

Having got up at the (for me) fairly late time of 9am, (having spent the past hour or so turning the alarm off every ten minutes - what is the point of having an alarm clock if you turn the thing off??) I looked out of the window to see a typical winter's morning landscape - EVERYTHING absolutely covered in thick frost, but an incredibly intense and bright winter sunshine already beaming down on everything.

First Christmassy job? Put the presents that have already been wrapped into the loft again. The loft ladder stores the cold from the night, almost cold enough to burn my hands in our otherwise warm house. The presents now in the loft, I go downstairs to chat to mum who's still wrapping boxes and boxes of the things - I've got another 3 that need wrapping too.

It looks like she's really made an effort this year, even more than usual. Now she's putting a sparkly garland round each present, and with this, a little christmas cracker. It looks really nice and I have to admit, seeing them all stacked up in their shiny wrapping with the little crackers and cards and nametags and everything, I seem to enjoy a private thrill of childish excitement, unbecoming for someone my age.

So what's on the agenda for today? Well, my sister is coming round with my nephew, sans doggie (I believe) and we're off to Kelham Island christmas exhibition thingie which they have every year I think, nothing spectacular but a nice family christmas morning out - imagine an English victorian Christmas market set in what used to be an old industrial complex (is now an industrial heritage site) and you're pretty much there.

Once we're back, I imagine it's at that point that we're gonna start getting on with the Christmas decorations.

10:23 well, it looks like my sister and nephew are here, and they are not sans doggie, they are mit hund! or avec un chien or whatever the other one is.

Hmm. How's that going to work. Dog's don't like Don Engines. This one would probably go and try to chase the crank wheel round and round and round and round and...

Well I'm off to say hello to them, I'll be back later!

10:29 Yep, it looks like we're off out :).

10:48 Well, due to my mum misplacing her keys, we've now had 25 minutes of my dad laying down the law to all and sundry, regardless of their role in the matter, and generally having a go at anyone who isn't on his side.
It's all finished now though, the arguing has stopped, and the keys are found. But, now I don't feel like going anywhere, particularly not with him.
He's quite good at that you know, he finds any bit of joy there is in the house and kills it quickly and expertly. You'd think Christmas would be different, but no, it never is, he has to be right, even then.

Oh well, my nephew and the doggie are here I think I'll go and enjoy their company for a bit :).

11:11 Right, my dad seems to have begun to grasp the fact that there's no point being "right" all the time if it sets everyone off against you, so he's calmed down somewhat. So it looks like we are actually going after all.

Lola, her cute self, is generally wandering around quite happily, eating magazines and having her tummy rubbed.

Still, I spose I'd best turn the computer off and get ready to go out :). Later.
14:41 Right, We're back, and we've had a pretty good time. I will go into more detail, but right now I have to go and walk the dog with my sis. We ended up leaving her behind.

Back soon!

16:05 Right, I've spent the past 20 minutes processing my photos from our trip, which turned out to be pretty nice. I'll stick them up when I'm done. Right now though, I'm dying for a cup of coffee so I'll go and get one and be back with you in a few minutes.

16:14 OK I was more than a few minutes, because I've been detailed to do some christmassy cleaning in the dining room, which I'll do shortly. Soo, where to pick up from.

After a short but uneventful trip we got to Kelham Island, and I noticed that what was once a lonely little industrial museum in the middle of a run down industrial complex, was now surrounded on all sides by gleaming (well they would be gleaming if they weren't built out of those reddish orangey stone coloured bricks that everyone seems to find so fashionable these days) new residential buildings, giving the entire place the vague air of that restaurant out of Batteries Not Included (the bit where this tiny restaurant stands in between two huge skyscrapers). I noted on the way in that the river had completely frozen over, which doesn't happen often here.

What can I say? If you like Industrial History then go for it, it's a fascinating place. What I will say, is that it made me proud to be from Sheffield.
"How can you be proud of something you have no control over?" Asks Mr A. Nobhead, director of joe public's stupid questions committee". I have to admit, it is a fair question, even while simultaneously being a trite overused platitude. I don't have an answer, because I'm not a psychologist, so there. Sod off.

We had a wander around, looked at all the exhibits, and bought some sweets for my nephew - these bring back memories, flying saucers! There was a brass band (if three people constitutes a band) playing christmas carols, which added a seasonal air to the proceedings, and the place was full of impressive machinery.

An internal combustion engine with a piston over 20 inches wide, driving a flywheel over 6 foot across, was one of the exhibits that had a room to itself, but there were even larger machines powering the industry, one of which, the main attraction of the museum, lay elsewhere on the site. We managed to hurry into the largest room of the complex, which contained the Don Engine itself, to watch the hourly demonstration, and while the demonstration of this huge machine was markedly short, I was still amazed, as I am every time I see her, by the noise, and sheer power of this machine.
Fifty-plus tons of flywheel flying round at 70 RPM doesn't sound like a lot, but when that flywheel is, at a guess, ten feet across, it's fast. The three huge pistons powerered up and down, and amongst the hissing of compressed air (the machine was powered by steam at 160psi but is now powered by compressed air at 6psi if i remember correctly) and the grinding of huge gears, was the rhythmic thump-thump-thump of the engine, that was more felt than heard.
Altogether, it was a noise that I've only ever heard while standing in the presence of that thing, and as it's officially the most powerful steam engine in Europe, and 40% more powerful than the more modern machines that do its job in today's industry, you'll not hear that noise anywhere else.

See a video of the engine in steam here. (Not my video)
Read more here.

So we had a nice time all in all, I bumped into a mate of mine, and although my ickle nephew started feeling a bit sorry for himself (a bit of a cold or something), we managed to have a pretty nice day.

Well, now it's 16:54, and I'm off to do some christmas tidying. We've got the decorations to do!
I'll add the photos later.

23:19 Right, I'm going to try to make this brief, because I'm going to Manchester at 6am tomorrow, and I'm very tired indeed.

I've been carried off by my mum to a concert I knew nothing about two days ago. It was one of those christmas classical things, with a choir and a classical orchestera and stuff, and I have to admit, while being incredibly different to the last time I went to town (and danced like a loony to very loud music) this was also actually very good. The lineup featured six very very good soloists, who in the manner of soloists everywhere, seemed exquisitely happy when they were performing. I don't know why.

But yes, a good night was had by all, and it was actually rather good, so maybe I'll go again sometime.

I'm not going to put the photos up tonight, sorry I'm too busy/tired, but don't worry I'll put them up at some point :).

Laters!

A dog is for life...

...but they never say who's life, do they? If I was buying a dog and someone told me I'd have it for the rest of my life, I'd spend the rest of that life worrying about just what was going to cut me down in only another 10-15 years.

Evidently a dog isn't actually for life, and it seems isn't even for christmas, in the case of "lola" (provisional name), a rather raggedy looking (but very hyper and incredibly affectionate) wiry haired dog of unknown (and highly suspect) genetic provenance, who it seems had the bad fortune (for her, and probably for her owners) to find herself wandering the streets of a small town in Tameside, Greater Manchester - a county not known for its balmy californian summers - at the arse end of November.

Fortunately for her, she was taken in by a family of lovely dog lovers, but after a week of trying to find the original (and when this failed, some new) owners, my sister and I ended up going along to Tameside to have a look. My sis, it turns out, had been after a dog for ages. So off we all went.

Wow. I've never ever seen a dog so incredibly hyper as this one. Licking everyone, jumping up a good few feet off the ground, wagging her tail so hard that any fleas she might have had, had since been embedded in the walls like darts, and, actually genuinely chasing her tail - I thought this was something dogs only did in cartoons, but no, round and round and round she went.

After a few minutes, it was apparent that we were going to be returning back to Sheffield with the dog, and five minutes after that, we were driving around Tameside with said doggie sitting in my nephew's lap, looking through the window and watching the world go by.

So that's it really, I had said that I "don't like mutts" (as opposed to nice pedigrees like my old rottweiler or my boxer) but then I said the same about kids before my nephew was born and the same about cats before my sister's pair insinuated themselves into our lives.

I have to admit, the dog and I seem to have taken to each other, at least to a degree, I sat with her in my lap on the way back, cradling her so that she wouldn't jump down under the pedals or onto the handbrake or whatever (I wasn't the driver). I'd noticed after a while that she had calmed down, and actually felt rather heavy in my arms.

Thinking to myself that it would just be so in keeping with the past few months to end up cradling a deceased dog, I had a quick check, to find that after only having first met me 40 minutes earlier, she apparently felt comfortable enough to drift off to sleep in my arms.

An incredibly docile and friendly dog indeed!

We got back, introduced her to everyone, and then went out for a nice little walk with the dog.
So out we were, in the freezing cold dark evening, me, my nephew, my sis and her dog, and we were out for a nice 25ish minutes, wandering around, looking at christmas lights.

Which brings me back to Christmas. There are a surprising number of people putting their decorations up already, which is cool, as it brightens the place up (pun not intended) and adds a seasonal air to the place, which can only be a good thing.

Apparently we're due to pur our own decorations up tomorrow, which going on past experience translates roughly into "I'll do the tree, then sit watching TV while you do everything else".
Okay so that's a bit of an exaggeration, but it seems that apart from the outside lights (which only go up when we have them, which isn't very often) which are put up by my dad, my mum and I do the majority of the Christmas decorating ourselves, with me doing more than my fair share of that.

But hey who cares, it needs to get done and it's nice to do it. Really puts me in the christmas mood. And now that I have employment, of sorts, I can finally get into the Christmas spirit, without worrying - too much - about money anymore.

In all the excitement what with the new dog, and the decorations and everything, one thing I have made the small effort to bear in mind is the fate of/effect on the previous owners of Lola. I have already expressed my opinion that, as cold as it sounds, I hope she was dumped, rather than simply ran off. Why would I say such a cruel thing?

Because she is a hyperactive, very sociable, very trusting, funny, and downright lovable dog, and I wouldn'y wish the accidental loss of a beloved family pet - particularly one with a temperament as lovely as Lola's - on anyone, especially not at this time of year. My sis will be taking the dog to be scanned for an ID chip, and I guess that if she is chipped, her return to her loving owners would be the best Christmas present they could ever hope for. If she isn't, then there's nothing else that can be done, though I'm sure we are all already on our way to becoming her new family, and it seems that Lola - for no one knows her "real" name, has taken to us just as much as we have taken to her. She even went to sleep in my bedroom earlier.

See you soon!

Oh, and here's the doggie! :).

Snow!

"Snow, snow snow snow" As they do sing on our christmas tape.

Yep, having heard rumours that it was due to snow today, I looked out of the window last thing before going to bed at the fairly early time of 10:30pm, and again when I got woken up by my mum stamping about at 1:30am. Nothing, not even a little drizzle.

But, it seems the weather forecasts were surprisingly accurate, as I looked out of the window this morning to find 5cm of snow on the ground, and still snowing! Yay!

After getting the camera out to take a nice shot (do you know how annoying it is taking 25 second exposures when someone drives past on his way to work every 24 second, in the cold, in the snow?), I've made myself a nice coffee, and I'm now sat here listening to various christmas tunes that have the word "snow" in the title. I've only got the two.

Bored yet? Sorry I've only been up 36 minutes, I haven't had time to do anything interesting yet. My plan for the day? Drink lots and lots of coffee, and play MOO3 all day. I might do some more work on my dad's Xmas pressie too. In fact, I shall probably get on with that before I play MOO, because that game just sucks you in and won't let you out until bedtime.

I should probably also have a shave. I look like Jonathan Frakes.

Oh, and as for my "job?"

I phoned them up yesterday, and got passed around for about five minutes (I only got passed to one other guy, who evidently didn't want to say much), to be told that they had in fact decided to take me on. Yay!

And when do I start? Ah.

December 15th.

Fantastic eh? Still, at least I don't have to worry about some big hefty guys from "camera repossessions incorporated" smashing my windows and nicking my camera, anymore.


I would show you my nice snowy photo but for two reasons - one, I'm sure that unless your name is several words long with a couple of "Al"s thrown in for good measure, you know what snow looks like. (If your name IS actually several words long with a couple of "Al"s thrown in for good measure, just imagine lots of white clumpy sand dropping from the sky.

The other reason is it's shot right outside our front door, so sticking it up would be like sticking a big red "I live here!" arrow on google earth!

Still, snow. Cool.

:)

The start of the christmas season!

Okay, we're getting closer to Christmas now, the temperature is regularly dipping below freezing, and frost and ice are beginning to appear again as they do every year. A few places have got trees, lights and other decorations up already, and everyone is beginning to feel christmassy.

Today, my mum and I indulged in a little christmas tradition, and went to Gainsborough Old Hall, as we do each year. It's nothing hugely special, lots of stalls selling hand made items, jewellry, cushions etc etc, sounds a bit boring when I describe it I suppose, but it's pretty nice. There's christmas music and christmas trees, people in period costumes selling their wares, and in the great kitchen, is a lovely warm fire, where you can sit, listen to the music and eat your mince pie and fruit punch. It's very christmassy and a nice start to the Christmas season, which is I suppose, why we go.

So I looked out of my window first thing this morning to see... well, not much actually. A Blanket of thick, thick fog covered everything, and where it was too low for the fog to reach, ice and frost covered the remainder. Still, after bundling myself into the car (and waiting 15 minutes for my mum to find an appropriate pair of shoes), off we went. A nice uneventful journey later and we were there.

As we made our way to the entrance though, something large and feathered flew from one side of the courtyard to the other, behind some shrubs. Out came my camera and I scooted off carefully to see what it was. I got round the corner and saw a couple of birds, one much larger than the other. Once I was spotted, they both flew away.
After a fashion; See, the smaller bird wasn't so much flying under its own power as hanging limply from the beak of the much larger bird. The larger bird flew back to the first side of the courtyard, and as I approached again, dumped the second bird in a pile of feathers, and flew up to the roof, leaving behind his meal.
And some meal it was too. A huge, massive, fat, adult pigeon.
Or most of one, at least.

The larger bird (I can't tell whether it was a Merlin or a Sparrowhawk - or something else entirely) stared at me resentfully from the roof, as we made our way into the entrance.

The pigeon did not stare at me resentfully, or at the entrance, or even at its killer.
I couldn't say what it was staring at. Not without knowing where the sparrowhawk left its head.

So we went round the building, looked at all the craft stuff, and it was good to see the same familiar faces. We managed to go and get a mince pie and some punch each, and even managed to get a place in front of the fire, during which time we were subjected to extremely bad christmas music, played on a banjo and violin - I suspect he may have been deliberately playing badly to raise a few laughs, but I wouldn't bet money on it.

After this, we went into Gainsborough town itself, stopping for a very nice portion of chips and sausage, as we always do, and then continued wandering round the town, popping into the soon to be defunct Woolworths, where we managed to find another Christmas present for me to give someone. Poor as I may be, I can't see people go without! I also noticed that Woolworths sell VERY LARGE Toblerones, one of which I have asked for for christmas!

Once we'd been round the town, back we came, stopping in at the new retail development (where we found a jeweller's shop with a sign written in a very unfortunate typefac), as well as a local garden center on the way back, taking the opportunity to look through the christmas decorations while we were there. And then home.

So it's been a pretty nice day, I shot loads of video (because I like doing things like that) and got a few nice photos.

Yesterday I figured I'd try out the doughnut maker my sister gave to us, to see if it was any good.
Was it? Well, hmmm, in a pinch, the doughnuts are pretty edible, especially if you glaze them (I didn't). On the other hand, given the choice, I'd rather go to GT News in Sheffield and get a couple of fresh hot doughnuts. I cooked 28, of which about 20 went in the bin. Shame, but they weren't particularly fantastic, and had gone cold by the time my mum got back anyway.

Work on my dad's Christmas present continues, and I've visited pizza hut yet AGAIN to find out why the hell the manager didn't call me on wednesday. He swears (again) that he will call me on monday.

And finally, bits of my laptop are going up for sale tomorrow. Having stripped it down to the last screw, there's not a lot that will earn me much money. But hopefully it might just stop me from becoming destitute.

But hey, let's see what happens on monday! Here are some more sparkly photos for you :). I didn't take the cymbal ones today, obviously.

Help! Christmas Crisis...

Okay, I'm not a happy bunny. Having attended one interview, a two hour "experience session" or whatever the hell they call it, and having made numerous phone calls to my would-be boss, I'm still no closer to finding out whether I actually have a job for Christmas, or not. I'm feeling more than a little fecked around with at this point.

Other than that, there's only so much an unemployed guy who doesn't go out can report. I dug the lego out of the loft, and after six hours of bloody tedious and hard work, I managed to put together something a little special for my nephew :). A little neptune underwater base or whatever he decides to call it.

We also managed to get something together for my sister's Bday, a night out round the local clubs, which went extremely well. Much beer was drunk, lots of dancing was done, lots of music was listened to (too bloody much, we went on saturday night and I've still got slight earache and ringing in my ears on a wednesday!) We got back at about 4:30am at which time it had started snowing, and about 5am, I decided to run home from my sister's house.

It was nice to run back, it was extremely quiet, I think I only saw three cars on the way back, everyone else must have been in bed, and still the snow came down.

Well, let's hope that we can sort something out for Christmas, right now I'm not sure what the hell I'm supposed to do. My nephew wants that airplane.

Still, here's hoping, eh?

Here's his little underwater base :)

Happy Birthday To Fliss...

And I thought I had it bad...

Yesterday (as of about 30 minutes ago) was my sister's birthday. The big two-one. yeah, without me even realising it, my innocent little sister with her b*witched albums and her sponsored dances and her crash bandicoot games and her secret diaries and suchlike, has without me even realising it, made the jump to full fledged adulthood, and as of yesterday, is a genuine real Twenty-One years old.

Christ, that's a scary thought. Obviously I'm generalising, but it feels like the last major thing I remember with my Sis is me trying to play some rally game (i still have it, I'm too lazy to find the disc) while she and her friend practiced for the fundraising dance in ASDA.
Next thing I know, she's going to University, not only that, but she's not even new there, she's carving her way through a university course, and her 21st has crept up on every single damn person in the world, especially me.

Which royally sucks. It seems no one has got her a god-damn thing. I haven't, to my parents it was just another day, my brother might have, I don't know. I've tried to mitigate it by promising something nice for christmas, but I can't even guarantee that.

I've got sick of unemployment, I applied for that scootay job. I got called in for an interview with a dude called Simon - and I think it went pretty well - he's a biker, so am I, he's ex RAF, I'm ex TA, he's a photographer, so am I, okay so I'm not looking to move in with him but there's nothing wrong with sharing your future boss's interests.

Anyway I got called back for an "observation" thingie - I go and look at life in the restaurant and see if it's for me. At the end, I get asked if I like it, I lie, and I get the job.

No, the place hasn't changed since I used to be there, and it used to be a second home last time, I used to be one of the regular staff, and I have a long if somewhat chequered history with that place. It's good to be back doing something that I remember doing :).

So now I'm waiting to find out if I have got myself a temporary christmas job.

So wht else have I been doing? Well, I've been continuing work on my dad's xmas pressie, (it's a lot of bloody work!!) and I've been trying to review bad technology. Yes folks, I've been trying to review the mustek DV4000 mini camcorder, but ultimately failed due to my review being 13 minutes, where youtube only allows 10 minutes.

Still. My nephew managed to go to Disney on Ice last night, and I spose for an ickle four year old, it must have been an awesome experience. I knew nothing about it until about 2 hours before my family were due to set off, but I managed to demand that my mum buy him a slush puppy should the opportunity arise, and sure enough he got one.

He came back last night, with a huge grin, a slush puppy cup in the shape of Nemo, he loved it, I've never seen him so happy.

It was brilliant. I just hope I can make the little guy's christmas. He's told me what he wants enough times, I just hope I can get it for him :).

and since I'm missing the obligatory music video links I'll stick them here.

Here: Nightwish's new vocalist spreads her wings. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GdZn7k5rZLQ

And of course, you have to read the misheard lyrics :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWd6j5rphtg

But apart from this nightwish happiness, it seems CoF have released another album without me noticing (rectified now), and it seems to me that at this late hour, their angry screamings are in fact much more mature than their previous offerings, with a lot more emotional depth.

Yes, angry Suffolk based satanic [or not] screamers, Cradle of Filth have released a new album, "Godspeed on the Devil's Thunder" (The life and crimes of Gilles de Rais), a thematic studio album based on the life, (more the crimes actually) of Gilles de Rais, a gentleman who was once a proud French soldier, before succumbing to the dark side of the force (er, more accurately, sodomy, torture, serial killing and satanism).

Now normally neue Arbeit would kill off any mention of serial killing, on the grounds that it's not in keeping with the family model. Torture would be regarded as an infringement of the human rights (or inhuman, as the case increasingly seems to be, these days) of the subject, serial killing would be a stain on the mark of the local police (funny that this album should come from an Ipswich band, I notice with some wry amusement)... As for Satanism? Well we can't have that can we? That's just un-islamic!!!

Anyway I found myself surprised by the difference between the previous batch of angry satanic god hating musical rants, and this latest batch of angry satanic god hating musical rants.

Now before all you so-called hardcore satanists get your fishnets in a twist, I love this album. I've loved previous CoF albums, Thornography perhaps more than Nymphetamine, but this one seems to have all the emotional depth and maturity of nymphetamine with all the energy and general screaminess of Thornography.

Doug Bradley, of Hellraiser fame also makes his presence felt in this album, having also done the narration for Thornography, Midian and Nymphetamine. Also joining the CoF ensemble is the new face, Martin Škaroupka, who, happily, is as talented as the previous guy, Adrian Erlanddson.

Still, give the album a try, you can get one of the tunes here :).

I'm very very tired now, night!

Bonfire Night

Hey! What an imaginitive name!

Well, I've just sat down with something to eat and drink, and I'm achey and generally tired. Why? Because yesterday I beat my distance/time endurance record by running 4.56 miles in 50 minutes (I'm going for endurance not speed, so anyone who wants to point out what my average speed is can feck off). I'm also tired because I've come back from 4 hours wandering around a field with my family, watching After Dark 2008, and balancing my nephew on my shoulders for the better part of 35 minutes.

The fireworks display was spectacular, the bonfire was huge, the entertainment was provided by a band called "Craine", who sounded decent, despite being relatively unknown (you heard it here first, folks), the event was well attended, the weather was okay, and the company was ok.

I managed to get the entire thing on video, from start to finish, despite my camera playing silly buggers and the battery level indicator going from "NO BATTERY" to two (out of three) bars repeatedly.

My nephew won a prize on the hook-a-duck thingie, and I successfully resisted te urge to start hitting people after getting tired of people behaving like I had a white striped painted line down my back. My parents also avoided anything like a major argument, which was a pleasant surprise.

So what else have I been up to? Applying for jobs mostly. I'm expecting a call to arrange an interview (going to be a scoot-ay rider for pizza hut just to get some christmas cash together), and my fitness continues to improve.

Other than that, I've been continuing work on getting ready for christmas, and went on another photo trip to Manchester Airport the other day. One photographer made a point of waving at every plane taxiing to the runway, as a result, I have a relatively high number of photos with the co-pilot waving back, including one with the co-pilot with a cheery grin giving us all a thumbs-up. But hey, it's Christmas soon, and I'll hopefully have something sorted well in advance :).

Have fun people :).

The "C Word"

Right. Sorry about that. Despite being unhappilly unemployed in the runup to christmas (try it, it's fun! Not.)I've been quite busy. This is real busy as opposed to "leave me alone i don't want company" busy, I've been getting on with sorting out one christmas present in particular (not giving me any trouble but is pretty time consuming), finding a christmas job, and generally getting fit.

So yes, employment fun, woohoo. Went down to XYZ place to see if they have any vacancies. The guy at the desk says "yes we have, but you have to apply on our website. Use this reference number".

So I go onto the website, type in the reference number, no matches found.

YAY!

So I've fired off a couple of emails (politely) asking what the hell is going on and are there jobs at XYZ place or not. I hope I get a quick response on account of Christmas being about 8 weeks away.

Which kinda brings me to the main point of today's entry, the great big C word. No, I mean the seasonal one. with QVC selling Christmas themed stuff already, and the local shops being full to bursting of tinsel, you could be forgiven for thinking it's December. Admittedly it isn't, but it's beginning to feel that way. I spose it will have just gotten round to being December by the time it does actually feel that way, which is incredibly convenient for everyone concerned, especially those lucky few who make their living designing advent calendars.

Yes, I've been working on my christmas list, and have been continuing to make (yes, make, as opposed to buy) one of the christmas presents. I'm beginning to form a list in my mind of what I'd like to buy everyone, but it is a bit sparsely populated, so all ideas welcome, apply to the usual address.
Obviously if you don't know my address then I don't know you well enough to be buying you Christmas presents.

So yes, Not much else to report, my fitness continues to improve etc et, going to the airport a week on monday, which is good, and now I think I'm off for a coffee.

But before I do, My christmas list is here. Yes, I spent a while carefully and artistically writing my list in beautiful lettering, with the net result that it looks a mess and no bugger can understand it. Seems that in that particular style of writing, no one used numbers, so everything had to be in Roman Numerals, which was fair enough as they're generally consistent and to the point.
Generally being the operative word.

To replace my completely stupid waste of time of a graphics card, I decided I would like something a bit more powerful. There was the opportunity of one becoming available, that question has now been answered with the typical "nah maybe not" I'm used to life throwing at me when it looks like things may be going my way, but it put the idea in my mind.

I figured to replace the 512mb 8500gt with a 512mb 8800gt was a very good idea, on account of the 8800s crashing down in price. "Fine" I thought, "I'll put an 8800GT on my Xmas list".

Unfortunately 8800 in Roman Numerals is MMMMMMMMDCCC or something like that. So I just cheated. See for yourself :). Links to the other stuff I find cool enough to put on my Xmas list, also :).

Nvidia Geforce 8800GT
Gerber Recon LED Torch
Montane Featherlite*
Jetboil System
Jetboil Accessories
Assorted Gems

Sorry about the formatting, this thing's about as versatile as a brick. Why do I want gems? Simple, they're nice and shiny and I haven't bought any for a while.

*Why did I misspell "Montane" on my Xmas list? Simple. Andy Stewart misspelled it on his website. Bleh.

Right!

Okay, first of all, some bizarre twist of fate has destroyed the slideshow I had running on my account of the towers getting knocked down. Let me go and fix that this instant: (01:21).

01:27 - RIGHT they're working again.

Okay, so what have I been up to?
I would say "not much" which given my current situation, you'd be forgiven for believing. And you'd also be wrong.

In all honest, I've been "making", yes "making" as opposed to buying, a christmas present. And yes I've been spending 12 hours a day for about the past 6 days exceeding my bandwidth limit, wearing the letters off my keyboard, crashing my computer through lack of memory, and generally doing sincere family christmas work while cunningly looking like I was selfishly spending time on my computer...

Right... Let's get in the mood.

It's 04:29, the window is open, the smell of wet asphalt and bonfire smoke drifts in through the window, the lights are out, and this is on... Don't worry, I'll wait, I don't mind if youtube is slow (It has amazing guitar solos anyway).

So what has been happening recently?

Well, as my somewhat hasty blog hinted, I've not been up to much. nothing outside the house at least. I've been taking Christmas pretty seriously though, and have been working, as I said, for 12 hours a day, on a christmas present for one particular person. I'm not going to go into detail just now, maybe in a couple of month's time.

So what else has been happening? My fitness has improved. Far from considering 10 minutes the absolute ragged edge of my running, I've settled into a steady pace and can now run for 20 or 25 minutes, longer even. My training, as per the army "pre recruitment fitness" thingy seems to go well, and not before time it seems.

My dad has renewed his efforts to get me to go into the police, which is, for him, fairly alarming. It seems that with my dad's insistence that I go into the police, and my mum's continuous statements that I "won't be available" for their 2009 years in Italy, it semes they're finally convinced that the Army is where my future lies.
Good. I'd never really been 100% convinced. Now maybe the family's beginning to take it seriously. I can just get on with it,

The time draws closer, I'm getting fitter, and sooner or later I'm gonna have to sign on the dotted line, which both scares me and exhilarates me. I don't want to spend the rest of my life in crappy dead end jobs. And as for this recession? the future remains to be seen I suppose.

Civilian employers are hardly likely to be hiring. Which is fair enough, considering I wouldn't take a civilian job for than a couple of months. The world is falling to bits, financially, politically and militarily.

It seems that no one is assured of an easy life, and at least at the sharp end, I get to take some shots in anger, of my own. Let's see what happens.

I'll keep you updated.

Now at 100% Audacity

Soooo, what have I been up to the past week or so.
Not much really, as you might expect. Having left work with a not insignificant amount of final pay (all holiday pay plus the pay to the day I left = approx £800) I've been kinda taking the opportunity to put my feet up, and keep them there.
For a while. Or maybe longer.

Admittedly it's getting boring now, which is why I am now working myself back into a "normal" sleep pattern, prior to going back into my old job (pizza delivering scooterboy) for the next three months or so, just for some money for christmas.

Now a couple of people might say "Ahahahha scooterboy", but I look at it this way: When I used to do it, I'd make £10-20 in tips a night. That's equivalent to £200-£400 in gratuities a month! On top of the basic pay which isn't too bad I seem to remember. Then you have the fact that I get to travel - yeah fine I get to travel an area the size of a small town, but it's nice to get around and see what's going on I spose. Then you have the fact I like my own company just as much as I like other people's. And since all people will ever want from me is a hot meal, there's nothing in the way of "conflict resolution", "objection handling" or any of that call center shite. And definitely no scripts or hard selling. And it's only for a few months anyway.

Why? Because for about the 8,902,893rd time this year, I've decided to get my arse in gear and get fit enough for the Army. There's no two ways about it, there are too many arguments for going into the army and not enough against. Aside from the fact that I'm not qualified to do anything, and the people that are, are losing their jobs left and right due to the recession (which is apparently in its opening stages and due to get worse), I'm therefore headed in that direction because of "economic circumstances" (the first of many it seems, as the MOD is expecting improved recruiting. It looks like just back in the good old '50's, for a generation of young men, getting in a uniform looks to be the only sure way of getting a career, a room and a meal) .

But I'd rather be considered a driven and committed recruit-to-be, rather than a victim of circumstance. Why? Because this is my choice, and I feel it's the right one for me. Even looking on the smaller side of the scale, I stand to gain mates, and a social life, and I'll sure be travelling, even if it is sometimes to places no civvy wants to go.
Most importantly though, a career in the army will give me a reason to get out of bed in the morning, something meaningful to put my heart into and build a life around. And that ladies and gentlemen, is something that no shitty "Exceeds Nat Min Wage" job with a title ending in "operative" could ever, ever give me.

But back to the present, what's the title about?
Audacity, while not only being a piece of open source software, is a rather good description of what's been coming out of my stereo since I got it fixed. See, a while ago, I plugged a 5mm headphone jack into the front of my stereo, which then snapped in half when I tried to unplug it, leaving half of it inside my stereo.
What happens when you plug a 5mm jack into your headphone port? The speakers go dead. Why? Because there's no bloody point wearing headphones if they don't. And you might want to listen to music with bad words in. So what happens if you leave half a jack in there? Surprisingly, only one of the speakers goes dead. Okay so I lied about the surprisingly bit.
To get round this (there's no way to remove a snapped jack plug from inside a stereo port - we tried (no user servicable parts inside generally means what it says) I did what will probably make people slap their heads, groan, half-turn away, and do the usual pantomime to show that they can't believe someone would be so stupid, which was to take the wires from the LEFT speaker, twist them around the wires for the RIGHT speaker, and plug them into the RIGHT speaker port.
Did the stereo go bang and teach me a lesson? Er, no, sorry. If you were hoping that it did then please get the paxo* out of the cupboard, and proceed to get stuffed.
However since the wires I now had plugged in only controlled the bass speaker, I was still left with a barely operational left speaker. Until my splitter-cable arrived today, allowing me to plug in the treble speaker which has its own seperate lead. Woo! My stereo now fires on all cylinders and outputs from all speakers, even if I should probably stop calling it a stereo as it's now technically a "mono".

On a sadder note, I was rather dismayed to hear from my mum that my grandad's birthday present (my sis and I split the cost and got him 12 new fish for his tank), while well received, didn't last long. Unbeknownst to me, apparently you have to prepare the tank for new arrivals even if there are ALREADY fish in it. Also unbeknownst to me, my mum was aware of this and advised my sister against getting the fish. Of course, at the time I wasn't aware there was a problem, on account of no bloody sod actually telling me. All the new fish didn't seem to adapt to the tank as well as was expected, and in less than a week, all 12 fish have died. RIP, little tetras, silver sharks, guppies and some other ones I can't remember.
Do I feel guilty? No. Should I? While I am broadly in favour of animals, I know nothing about fish, and therefore made the mistake of assuming there was no problem, as I hadn't (and this is an important point that I keep repeating) been told otherwise. While assumption is a mistake in itself, I feel it's the only one I actually made. Still. Poor fishies.

What else is going on? Well today I've spent four hours behind a bloody carpet cleaning vacuum cleaning water carpet machine thingie, helping to get the house nice and tidy, which will come in useful come christmas.

Ahh I said the C word again didn't I! Oh well, it's no longer something to be escaped it seems, as there are even adverts on the TV about christmas now. All the shopping channels (which my mum is fond of) are now selling christmas themed products, wrapping paper, crackers etc...

So now I'm off to get some dinner, and then later I'm off out for my run :). Have fun.

*Hahahaha I love that, "serving suggestion", yeah that's right, make some stuffing, shove it in a bowl and eat it with a spoon! Nice one! (At least do some gravy to go with it!)

The year is winding on...

OFFICIAL WARNING TO ALL FAMILY MEMBERS: From this date until Dec 26th 2008, this blog is officially "out of bounds" for my nephew. I will be doing an amount of christmas organising over the next 12 weeks or so, and a certain amount of that organising will involve my nephew's presents, and the purchasing and discussion thereof. Included in this blog entry is a photo slideshow intended for the benefit of everyone except for the aforementioned little nephew, The slideshow contains images of one of his Xmas presents and is not intended to be viewed or seen by him. PLEASE KEEP ALL NEPHEWS AWAY FROM THIS BLOG UNTIL DECEMBER 26TH.

Right. So what have I been doing for two weeks?
Well, I've been browsing around for a job, visited the job center a couple of times and have asked various companies if they have vacancies, so far, the only promising lead is a job as a bike rider delivering pizzas - It pays okay and it's not a bad job, but I'm not that desperate yet.

I've cleaned my room up loads, I've created loads more space, and I've played a lot of Gran Turismo 2. I've listened to a fair bit of christmas music from our family's favourite christmas tape, as is traditional in this strange family of ours, when we're doing autumn cleaning (It motivates us I suppose). Other than that I've been generally riding my bike around, chilling out with friends, and staying away from the beer more than usual.

One thing I've also been doing, is spending a lot of time at my sister/nephew's house, helping them do various things such as painting (walls and ceiling), wallpapering, and generally getting the house in a nice condition after the decorators half bulldozed the place. We've got the place looking okay now - not too bad at all.

We went with my nephew to Toys'R'Us, the epicentre of all toys in the world everywhere. I used to love going to that place as a kid, just to look at all the cool stuff. One thing I noticed is that not only is the 2 foot long Millenium Falcon back on sale, but so are the proportionately scaled A and B wings, as well as Tie Fighters, Tie Interceptors and loads of other models. Good to have them back after a hiatus of what, 20 years?
My nephew enjoyed hitting me with the new toy lightsabers though, though his mum's adamant he's not getting one, and I can see why.

Now, [and I'm sorry if this seems longwinded - this is the second time I've had to write this, due to computer problems], if you asked my nephew what he wants for christmas, his answer is usually " A playpeople airplane". A couple of years ago my mum bought him a two engine playmobil airplane, and all was well. One day though, he threw it out of the window of his first floor bedroom. Not - as you might think - out of any spite or temper tantrum, but simply childish curiousity - he wanted to see it fly.
Fortunately, while none of the parts of the plane broke upon its crash landing, a few of them DID fly, in the general direction of "away and round the corner" it seems, as they haven't been seen since. And since then, his playmobil airplane has been like a jigsaw with a lot of missing pieces. Eventually it went in the bin, I think.

So I've been chatting with his mother about getting him what he wants for christmas - a new playmobil plane - provided that we can be sure that the same won't happen again. I've found an enormously fantastic jumbo, bigger than his old 2 engined jet, that I want to get him.
Now I figured that it'd be neat to get him a few things to go with it, so while I'm trying to persuade my mum to buy him another of the original 2 engined jets, I'm trying to get his mum to buy him the airport cargo crew to go with the plane. He was particularly taken with the playmobil at Toys'R'Us, so I think he'll enjoy getting some for Xmas.

Earlier in the week, I spent some time with my sis, and we went to somewhere I'd not been for a while, Wentworth Garden Center. We both used to get taken there with our parents as kids, and it has been easily ten years since I last visited the place, so it was with some surprise that I noted that the place has barely changed. The gardens, the pond, and even the secret passage (yes, there's a secret passage) as well as the maze are still there, which is nice to see. Yes, it's a garden center, but they've put a lot of effort into making the place as pleasant to be in as possible, and walking round the grounds with the different trees, the fountains, waterfalls, ponds and fields, you'd be forgiven for thinking you were in the grounds of the nearby stately home.
One thing they also had was a big stock of playmobil, though they didn't have what I was looking for.
Which was fair enough, as I'd already found what I was looking for, and it was sitting in a Toys'R'Us bag in the back of my sister's car...

So, other than the exclusive expose below, I'm off to go and finish my tea. Then I'm going to phone the guy who's supposed to be buying my bike and find out why he hasn't bought it yet.

The secret identity of the first Christmas Present of the year can be exclusively revealed below: I concealed a camera about my person and joined the Army to repor... oops wrong one, sorry. I sneaked into the attic to capture revealing images of the first present of the year. I suspect more will join it as time goes on.

The great Christmas cleanup...

...Okay, before you all start emailing me to let me know I've got my seasons mixed up, I know, it's not Christmas.

However, I also know that when it is Christmas, I'll be too busy doing Christmassy things to be bothered with little things like cleaning my room. So I'm doing it now.
I was sat in my bed 2 days ago, wide awake at 5am. My room was a tip, clothes and empty coke bottles everywhere, and without wanting to put too fine a point on it, I was hardly spring fresh myself. Which bothered me, as i'm not exactly a layabout.
Well I am at the moment but not generally.

The problem with living in a room every day for yeras on end is you never really get the opportunity to give it a big cleanout, so starting today that's exactly what I'm gonna be doing.
What inspired this? I dunno, just an irrational bout of christmassy feeling I suppose. We're getting on towards the end of the year, christmas is now close enough for shops to be selling christmas cards, so I decided I might as well do something constructive, in the name of a family occasion.

So right now it's 7:33, and I'm entangled in the process of trying to strip my desk down and rebuild it - which will be really fun considering I need to be able to use it at the same time.

00:05: Well, I ended up stripping out the desk CD rack, cleaning everything up, retightning all the screws and adding a healthy measure of wood glue to help the desk back in its way to being reasonably solid again. I hope someone invents a structural integrity field one day because sooner or later, this desk's gonna need one to hold it together.
I managed to clear out a couple of cupboards that weren't doing anything, and best of all, I've managed to velcro my memory card reader and iPod Shuffle dock to the side of the desk just above my USB Hub. So if you look in there now, it's a mass of blinking lights - looks very cool.

One other thing I've done, is restore my christmas tree.
Eh? Let me explain. A few years, maybe 7 or 8 years back I got a "Magic Christmas Tree" The one I got quoted a working life of approx 5 or 6 days depending on how much you messed about with the tree and how many crystals you knocked off etc. It also came with a little warning that basically said "once crystals have fallen from tree, do not reuse".
This 5-6 day tree was preserved in a cupboard of mine, and five YEARS later still looked like new. I didn't disturb it, I didn't touch it, and it looked like it did the second or third day after it started growing. Eventually though, I did something daft or something and knocked a playstation cd case into it or something. broke the "leaves" all off one side. And for another few years, it stayed like that, until today. Well I did little science at school, I know a little about crystals, crystals in solution, and more importantly, precipitation of crystals (or at least I'd like to think I do, which is not necessarily the same thing). So I scraped the crystals off the shelf and put them back in the tray, added a little water and hoped for the best. I rehung the little baubles and put the star back on top, and back into the cupboard it went.
Three hours later, and the tree's beginning to grow new "leaves" - it's nice to have it back in one piece.

Ahem, got distracted there, sorry. So what else has happened recently? Well, today we had floods, rain, thunder, lightning and more floods. Nothing major but enough to get a couple of mad loonies out of their houses to go paddling - yes, paddling - in one of the (now flooded) local parks.
The whole place was a bit treacherous, the river hasn't been that high for ages.

Wednesday, was my ickle nephew's first day at school. So I got over there to take some nice photos, and my sister and I walked him to his first ever day at school.
Course, there's not much to report because we weren't there most of the day, but when we went to collect him, it was clear that he loved it. My sister and I had come to a little arrangement while he was away, that meant we were able to tell him when we picked him up that we were going somewhere special the following day. So we did just that, picking up the satnav and some food for a little picnic and off we set again, back to Twin Lakes!

We had a good old time there, though I'm sorry to report that the spiderweb of tangly death, that cubic bungee trap, has actually been closed off by the staff. I have a photo of its horizontal equivalent kicking about, so that you can have a look-see. Don't you just hate that figure of speech? Tough, I rather like it.

The only other thing to report then is my "discovery" (for "discovery" read "happening across a band that has released about 7 albums over the past few years") of a "new" band, by the name of Gregorian. A German outfit consisting of a choir, and some backing instruments. A bit like Era, but the lineup and the sound are more consistent. These guys have done some very unlikely covers, covers that given the "Gregorian" treatment sound very different to the original. Songs such as Rammstein's "Engel" (original, cover), REM's "Losing My Religion" (original, cover), Belinda Carlisle's "Heaven is a place on earth" (original, cover). There are others out there, bout 6 albums worth including "In the air tonight", "ordinary world" etc etc.

But perhaps the best cover I've found this week is by Chris Cornell (you know, the guy from Audioslave/Soundgarden), who has done a VERY different cover of Billie Jean, recording it as a blues/rock song. I liked the original, but I have to admit to being very impressed with the new version. It takes a bit of getting used to if you're used to the original, but just appreciate it for what it is rather than criticize it for what it isn't.

Anyway, I've dug out my playstation during my cleaning up, so now I'm off to play gran turismo 2, and get some food. laters.

Oh, nearly forgot, here's some photos. Second one is the upright version of that spider web trap thingie. :)