Christmas Countdown - 5: Cremovo

I woke up several times today, initially from a rather unpleasant dream in which I was on shift delivering pizzas, and I got into a fight with a rather unpleasant crack user who was evidently rather disappointed that I didn't have any crack, and didn't know anyone who did.

Serves me right for reading wikipedia too much. One of the articles I browsed last night (in response to Jeff Dunham's comedy dvd) was crack. Don't know why, I've no interest in that type of thing :).

Still.

I woke up again to the sound of my parents arguing. They've evidently got over it now as they've taken the car and fecked off somewhere. Christmas shopping hopefully! ;-)

I eventually got round to browsing the net, and realised rather slowly that I was in fact due to see the nurse at the local surgery. So with about 25 minutes to go I started getting ready. I'd get dressed and see if I could swap some household chores for a lift to the doctors.

I looked outside - no car - bugger!

So I ended up running to the surgery. Not a problem, apart from the fact that my knee just "locked up" several times. It's like when I'm running either everything in my knee (my right knee - i've got two! (two knees not two right knees - cows have got two right knees, centipedes have got lots and lots. I don't know how many knees interior crocodile alligators have. They're all elbows and ankles (I just checked, they have two elbows at the front and two knees at the back (I'm going for the biggest number of consecutive bracketed sentences in a single paragraph(have I done it yet??))))) moves as it should, and sometimes it doesn't. Initially, it didn't.

Ahem.

I managed to get to the doctors with about a minute to spare, and announce my presence to the receptionist.
I was still looking through the magazines for the "digital photographer monthly" or whatever it's called, when the nurse called me. Of course, being mostly deaf in my left ear had evidently robbed me of most of my ability to tell which direction sounds had come from, so I'm looking around at the various doors, before I do a 180 and see the nurse grinning at me with some amusement :).

Anyway, I had my ears checked, then she sticks this thing which I spose is like a medical version of those spray things they use in bars and pubs to spray soft drinks into glasses, into my ear.

And then turned it on.

Did it hurt? Well, no actually. You do get a very loud rushing of water, and you can feel the water sloshing around in your ear, but in the first few seconds I noticed the sound start as muffled, and quickly become louder - it was working!

A second burst, at a higher setting, and that was it!
One week's worth of deafness fixed in 30 seconds!

I walked home, noting how loud the world had suddenly become.

I also stopped into the chippy on the way back, and got myself my favourite junk food meal.
Now, if you eat these on a daily basis, you'll become fat, deranged, and unable to move under your own power. But as an occasional unhealthy treat (god I sound like one of those special K ladies) I can't recommend it enough.
Introducing [chippy's] "wrap special". Get some chicken ("chikin") kebab meat, some lamb kebab meat, modge it around in curry sauce, then wrap it up in a tortilla. Then charge the person about £2.60 to eat it. It's cheap and tasty. And about as good for you as getting your head stuck in moving machinery. I also bought large quantities of soft drinks (running makes me thirsty).

I got home, dished up, and shoved some music on to listen to with both ears, for the first time in a week. Today's playlist is:

Nirvana: Polly
Nirvana: Lithium
Andy Williams: It's the most wonderful time of the year (Cool christmas lights too!)
Oomph!: Traumst Du
Collide: Razor Sharp

I'm now sat munching my unhealthy car-crash meal and listeing to christmas tunes. I might wrap some pressies when I get back from work. Hehe I love saying that. For now, it's nice to have a job again.

The cremovo comes later. It's going in the fridge now.

14:48: It was a dark and stormy night. It still is too. It's raining and the wind is blowing around something fierce. I'm gonna have plenty of fun staying upright tonight, much less making a good impression.
I'm trying to get ready and as usual everything's gone to rat-poo.
Everyone is running around putting shopping away, which means that I can't get ready because they're getting in my way and generally being a nuisance. The bit of paper that tells me when I start/finish is in my coat, which has disappeared into the dark recesses of the universe's imagination, far away from me, it would see, because I can't find the bloody thing.

What fun.
Still, it's Christmas soon :).

22:51: Right.
What a mess.
I ended up getting there bang on five thirty,, and it went downhill from there.

First, the bike shed has been replaced with something that's basically a glorified shipping container concreted into the ground. These are generally very hard to open, and it took me about 10 minutes to figure out how to get into the damn thing.

Second, when I did get one of the bikes out, the fecking thing wouldn't start. No electric start, no kickstart.
So we got the second bike out, exact same thing.

It was only after 20 minutes of several of us trying to figure it out that I noticed that the keyfob said "meta" (a manufacturer of vehicle immobilisers and alarms) on it. Eventually after triggering the alarm several times, we managed to get the damn thing turned off, and get the scoot started.

And from there, it was okay. Apart from one occasion when I slipped on some muddy concrete and fell on my arse. Fortunately I was in a good mood so I was laughing even as I got up.

Second though, somehow I turned the bloody hazard warning lights on the scooter. And I could not turn them off. They're remote control only - so there's not even a button on the scooter to turn them off.

So I had to ride back with the damn things on. What fun.

Thankfully though, the night improved, and the rest of the night was pretty much pain free :).

So now, I think I'd like to drink some alcohol. It's time for the Cremovo.

BOTTLE SEVEN: CREMOVO

Cremovo, according to the information I've been able to find, is a kind of Marsala - a fortified wine. It has sugar and egg yolks in it as well apparently. That said, let's go and get it :).

23:30: Well, having poured the drink, it smells really nice, it smells like port. There's a reason for this. It is actually similar to port.
I spose it's time to give it a go and see if I like it :-).

Hmm, it's quite thick, very sweet, there's a strange, almost tangy undertaste that I can't identify, but all in all, the Cremovo is probably the nicest of the drinks I've had so far :).

I'm not going to go into huge amounts of detail about the taste, as Cremovo is basically Port.
But yes, as I say, it is very pleasant.

Well, I'm off to finish my supper and I suspect I will be going to bed soon. The presents will need wrapping in the morning I guess.

Have fun :).

Christmas Countdown - 6: Limoncino

So I woke up fairly late today and spent the rest of the day arsing about with my dad's Xmas pressie.

The day didn't really pick up until later when my sis suggested we go Christmas shopping. I need to get a few christmas presents so hey I went along.

First thing we managed to do was get myself one of those 3 foot long Toblerones. Not bad for what worked out as 2 quid, so hey. Onto Meadowhall. Admittedly the place is not as packed as I'd expected it to be, so it was cool working our way round, and pretty productive. Admittedly it took a while but eventually I managed to get pretty much everything I was looking for, noting with alarm that I was running out of money fairly quickly. I don't get paid (that's right folks, now I officially GET PAID!) until christmas eve. 00:00 hours on the 24th of December. Uh huh. What the hell do I spend my paycheck on? Santa's delivery service? Do I pay fuel surcharges or something? Import tax? Guess buying stuff in the shops in the UK is a good idea after all!

So what else happened? Well, my nephew spent the night like a strobe light, on, off, on off, flickering rapidly between "absolute little demon from hell" and "loving adorable cute lil kid". We had a good old wander round, and I spose "a good night was had by all" as I seem to be saying increasingly.

One other thing I bought myself was a kite. Yes, I paid money for a kite. Why? BEcause in my Twenty Three years, I've never flown a kite, seriously. I accept that perhaps a two-line stunt kite isn't a novice's best choice for a first kite, but it cost me £4 (down from £13) so I ain't complaining.

One other bargain that I managed to bag (Yes I know I went out scouting for christmas presents for the family, but this bargain was too good to resist and didn't impact my present gathering ability in any way whatsoever anyway) was Century Rain by Alastair Reynolds.

When this book came out it was about £15. There are places like Forbidden Planet selling the paperback version for £6.99 plus whatever the hell delivery is there - I'm not registering to find out.

I got my copy, hardback, for £1.
That's not a typo, I got this book, hardback for £1/1 GBP/1 Pounds Sterling.
How? You swallow your pride and go to the budget shops. I was surprised as hell to find this thing in there, but as far as they're concerned, it's on the shelf, it's £1.

So 500+ pages of Alastair Reynold's latest work are mine at about 0.20 pence per page. If it's as amazing a work as Pushing Ice, then that's bloody good value for money.

Still.

Anyway, moving onto the alcohol - not including the four cans left over from last nights anticlimactic (is that a word) celebrations. Tonight drink is slightly more familiar.

BOTTLE NINE: LIMONCINO

Limoncino as far as I can ascertain, is Limoncello. A not unpleasant (but not fantastic) lemon liquor made from the rinds of lemons. The resulting drink, while being completely lacking in sourness that might ruin it, still includes plenty of bitterness, which is less than welcome.

Still as I say, the drink isn't unpleasant, in fact, its popularity is increasing. Limoncello is being sold in the US, the UK and Australia, as well as some other European countries. Perhaps it's not as bad as I remember it. What's vaguely interesting in a boring kind of way is the fact that the drink itself manages to take on a yellow colour, even though it's basically alcohol with lemon rinds shoved in it. Maybe it's one of those mysteries of life. Maybe I don't care enough to research it further. Still, it's an atractive drink. One that makes me daydream about living in Tuscany, with a couple of ducatis parked outside my villa, heating up in the morning sunshine... ahhh.... Ahem. Back to the grimy reality. Time to get the photos taken I spose.

01:45 Yes, I admit it, I'm late again. Not to worry, remember, "today" ends when you go to bed.

The drink certainly smells lemony, and not unfamiliar. time to give it a go I spose. ... Well, I'm surprised, this drink here is actually more pleasant than the bottle of Limoncello my parents brought home with them. It's definitely Limoncello, but it's obviously from a different producer. There's less bitterness and the drink itself is sweeter. At 30% ABV it's also some 3/4% stronger than the limoncello my parents brought back from Italy.

I'm glad I opened this bottle, when its number came up I wasn't impressed, complaining that "I know what limoncello tastes like and it's not great". But yes, I've got to admit, this drink is pretty nice. So now I'm off to carry on watching Jeff Dunham on Youtube, and I'm going to enjoy the rest of my drink :). Here are the photos.

Christmas Countdown - 7: Alkermes (I got a job)

15:32. Right, new job starts in 45 minutes, and right now I'm running round like a mad loony trying to find all my clothes. tempers (well, temper - mine) are/is running high and I just want to get out the door and get on with it :).

Let's see how it goes.
We return to the christmas countdown later.

21:28. I'm sat here with my nice celebration beer, relaxing after what turned out to be a successful night at work. The long and short of it ist hat I was assessed on my ability to meet certain standards, and having met those standards, was awarded the job. So yay, after four months of being unemployed, I am now finally working again. Fantastic stuff.

My job? Well, I'm basically a pizza boy, but hey, it's a job, I'm working with a good team, the work isn't dangerous, difficult or unpleasant, and I don't have to worry about armed mercenaries storming into my house to steal my camera, and any goods I own that add up to it's total monetary value.
So yes, a good night was had by all it seems, as my mum is also celebrating - this time at a christmas party. I don't expect she'll be drinking though, as she has taken her car with her.

As for the alcohol, well, the random number generator has picked bottle number one today.

BOTTLE ONE: ALKERMES

I know very very little about this drink. It seems to be a local specialty. The only information I have been able to find about it is that it may historically have being arabic in origin, and medicinal in purpose.
In that case, I suppose much like tonic water and coca cola going from medical concoctions to popular drinks in their own right, Alkermes has made a similar transition. The label says that it has natural flavourings in it, which isn't very helpful.

It's chilling in the fridge now, right now, I'm drinking my celebration beer and working on my dad's Xmas pressie. I'll come back to this later.

23:27. Well, I've got a nicely chilled (but tiny) drink in front of me. Aside from the bright red colour, one of the first things that I notice is the smell. Sort of alcoholic, but the drink also smells of rose water, and something like cloves. This is good, because I've found some more information on the drink, and this is exactly what it is supposed to smell like. Alkermes is a drink invented in 19th century Italy, and contains among other things, rose water, cloves, orange oil, as well as alcohol. It's colour used to be produced by a particular insect, though I'm not certain if this is still true. If so, this might be the only glass of beetle juice I've ever drunk. While Alkermes itself was invented as a drink, it seems it was derived from an earlier, but substantially different recipe, that did have (purported at least) medical uses.
...
11:34: Wow. despite its delicate smell, the drink actually has a very strong taste, and I have to admit that it's quite pleasant. The cloves are very noticable, as is the rose taste. the drink burns on the way down as well, which I personally consider a hallmark of a good drink. However, like the Amaretto, this drink also has a moderately unpleasant aftertaste, and while I feel that it would be unfair to condemn the entire drink as unpleasant simply due to the aftertaste, I do think that the aftertaste is a big factor in deciding what I think to the drink.
All in all, this is a reasonably pleasant, interesting and very striking drink, with a very unusual flavour that while pleasant, still takes some getting used to. One word that describes the taste would be "Aromatic". It's almost as if that while drinking the drink, the taste fills not only the mouth, but the nose and even the sinuses. It's very striking. I let my mum have a little taste of this as I wasn't sure what to make it. She described it as "liquid cherry lips", which I think is a pretty good description.
So yes, it wasn't unpleasant as such, but I am glad to be back on the beer. :). Might go to bed soon. Have fun!

Christmas Countdown - 8: Prugna Liquore (The movie Idea)

Today has been a productive day. I've accomplished a considerable amount of work on my dad's Xmas pressie, I've not got very much on it left to do before it's done and ready to be wrapped, and I've had a fairly steady day too.

I've put another three presents in the loft, and to be honest, that's about it. The most exciting thing that's happened to me today is eating a yummy cheeseburger with some coca cola while watching Dracula: Dead and Loving It.

On a related note, I must really recommend TVShack, it's a fantastic site, and while it doesn't have everything, it does have a huge amount of tv shows (star trek, father ted, bab 5, etc etc) as well as movies, documentaries etc. I also recently watched War of the Worlds (the crappy version) just to see how badly Spielberg and Tom Cruise could mutilate it between them.

The thing that makes me grin is how Tom Cruise's character is a dock worker, but still knows how to use an Anti Personnel Grenade (no, it's not simply a case of pulling the pin). On a related note, anyone who attaches grenades to themselves by the pin is an idiot, for obvious - or perhaps not very obvious (with fatal consequences) reasons.
The tripods were scary, and pretty convincing, I can't decide whether they're scarier than the Darkwalker or not though. But Tom Cruise has just completely lost all credibility with me, for reasons that Pat Condell goes into here, in his usual Articulate, funny and succinct manner.

That said, thankfully Mr Cruise seems to be able to keep his beliefs and his work seperate (unlike an increasing number of our workforce who finds that their job now offends their beliefs, whenever they are asked to do anything resembling work), and so perhaps the blame for War of the Worlds being a poor film, falls at Mr Spielberg's feet.

THE MOVIE IDEA

Perhaps in response, we should take "Independence Day", make it substantially more realistic, less cheesy and jingoistic, and have it directed by a British guy, to even the tables, I don't know.

We can have Simon Pegg as a wine drinking Royal Navy pilot who wants to get a seat in the European Space Project, getting woken up in his bed by his wife, while the earth shakes around them, only to insist that it's only legions of former British heroes revolving in their graves, before going back to sleep.

Of course, Jeff Goldblum, er, Lloyd Grossman, working for the BBC, figures out that the Aliens are trying to transmit a countdown signal over the BBC's network, but of course, the aliens find that after having travelled all this distance, their attack plans are completely ruined by the fact that the BBC did in fact record the entire countdown before the aliens ever turned up.

Pissed off, the aliens unleash a full frontal attack, all over the carpet, (before getting arrested for indecency and then quickly released when they complain loudly that getting arrested offends their beliefs) and the entire free world hangs on the success of Lloyd Grossman and Simon Pegg flying an Apollo space capsule stolen from the London Science Museum (the only alien construction the UK ever caught was shariah law).

With this, they have to contaminate the aliens' high tech computers on their mothership, with strains of the deadly "British Gas Billing System" virus (the one that makes all the numbers add up wrong),before launching a small nuclear warhead borrowed from the Americans (this occurs in space, so the labour government can't have them arrested for it), while all the while, a pissed up cider farmer from somerset, defies gordon brown and the human rights commisions by running interference down here by flying his F-18, er, Sea Harrier, er, do we have any armed forces left Mr Brown? (Yes, but no thanks to you), his cessna skyhawk into the underside of the alien ship in a clearly antisocial and racially motivated attack.

Of course, the labour government catch wind of this act of wilful damage on Bill Bailey's part, and gift millions of Taxpayer's money to the Aliens, by way of compensation, and to apologise for the damage to their nice shiny ships of mass destruction.

The aliens are then invited to "integrate into our culture" (A British phrase that is best translated into "Come among us and demand handouts for you and your descendants for as long as you are distinguishable from the native (hereafter known as the "poor bastards") population). They do so, and completely take over the nation without firing a single shot.

We can keep the title of the movie, "Independence" in this case refers to the entire world building a giant wall around the UK and keeping this horrible mess on the inside, much to the benefit of the rest of the world, who, now the aliens are distracted by a lifetime of BMW's and free money, are quite safe.

I kinda like that idea, maybe I should apply for a government grant to get the movie made.
I wonder if saying I'm "ethnic" as in "ethnic Yorkshire" will make it any more likely that I get free money.

But, hey, it's been a decent day so far I've had my little flight of fancy, and I'm off to bed soon, so let's make with the alcohol.

Today's random number generator picked bottle 8 - "Prugna"

BOTTLE EIGHT: PRUGNA

"Upon close inspection, (and considerable research) "prugna" would appear to be plum schnapps. I've only ever had peach schnapps before, and have found it to be quite nice. I don't eat plums, but I seem to remember them being rather bitter, so this could be interesting.
I've also managed to dig out my chocolates that we bought from harrods (there's £3.50 worth of chocolate here!), so I'll be enjoying these with my drink. Assuming that I enjoy my drink.
I shall just go and get it
...
Well, I'm rather surprised to sat that this drink smells almost exactly like the Amaretto I drank last night, it definitely smells of marzipan, and it's not cross contamination because I cleaned the glass thoroughly.

09:56: And now to taste it.
Well, I don't think it's Amaretto, but it definitely tastes similar. I would say there's a fruity taste in there but it could just be the water from the ice, or could even be psychological.

It's very different from the Schnapps that I've had in the past (Archers), I'd almost swear that this is Amaretto. Of course, it's not unpleasant, and the bitter aftertaste found in Amaretto isn't present, so I'm really really not sure what to make of this one. I'll have to do some more research while I eat my chocolates.

Peace.

Christmas Countdown - 9: Amaretto

Well, after turning the alarm off, I went out to see a friend only to be told that "he doesn't live here anymore". So much for getting back in touch with people, eh? I spent the rest of the day doing christmassy things, including wrapping a huge christmas present, as well as one smaller christmas present :). My life is so exciting at times!!!

Really though, after going to my potential employer AGAIN to ask what I was supposed to be doing, I was advised that the manager who offered me the job had in fact left without giving any notice or warning whatsoever, and everything was up in the air. AGAIN.
So I phoned the new manager today, who thankfully was not only delighted to have me onboard, but gave me a starting day - this wednesday.

Tired of being completely deaf in one ear, I also phoned the local surgery. A very pleasant nurse phoned me back and arranged a doctor's appointment for me, where it turned out that my ear was - wait for it - completely blocked with ear wax.
Reassuringly though, the doctor pointed out that there was nothing to be overly concerned about, and some time with the nurse should fix it - if it doesn't fix itself. I'm due to go back on friday if the former is required.

As for my Christmas countdown, well, today the random number picker picked number 2. Amaretto.

BOTTLE TWO: AMARETTO

This is also an old drink, and its origins, while not exactly lost in folklore, are at least pretty interested in it and considering borrowing a book on folklore from the local library.

Amaretto is a versatile drink, which is why I know that it is very nice in coffee, though I have to admit that I've never drunk it straight up. It's supposed to taste strongly of almonds, though some Amaretto is also made from apricot pits.

It's a rather pleasing golden colour, looks quite like a darker whisky.

21:54 Upon opening the bottle, you instantly notice the intense smell of marzipan. Not surprising since Amaretto and Marzipan are both made of almonds. It's quite a pleasant smell, and with Ice, the tiny 30cl bottle also goes quite far. I liked Amaretto in coffee, let's see if it's as nice on the rocks.
...
It's very unusual, not what I expected, it's not thick like Sambuca, being rather thin like whisky or vodka, but the drink definitely tastes intensely both of almonds, and of alcohol. There's a hint of a strange bitter-ish aftertaste that I'm not completely fond of, but on the whole, Amaretto seems to be quite nice, and at only (only!) 23% ABV, it's not going to get you too pished either :).

I've been wanting to try Amaretto ever since I tasted it in Coffee. You could ask "if you had it in coffee why not just drink it from the bottle instead". Because it was Amaretto flavoured instant coffee. one of those expensive sachets from those boxes that come with lots of different flavours of coffee.

So yes, another day, another few experiences. I'm going to have a shower and an early night, I want to be up super early to carry on working on my dad's pressie.

Here are the pics. Funnily enough, this glass is ALSO older than me. I'm not that young, honest. It's just a big deal in our family when someone breaks a glass.

Nighty night, folks!

Christmas Countdown - 10: Sambuca

Most normal people have chocolate advent calendars to cound down the days to Christmas day.

Not me. See, when my family came back from Italy, they brought me a little "try all these" package of ten different small bottles of spirits, liquors, etc etc, that are popular there.

Having taken up space in my parents' luggage all the way back from Italy, through Switzerland, Germany etc, these little bottles were destined for more than simply being pissed against the wall or casually wasted. They officially acquired a little sentimental value, and so I decided that they would be drunk at the appropriate time.

A few months ago I decided that I was going to use them as a sort of alcoholic advent calendar, I would start drinking on the fourteenth of december and finish my last one on christmas eve.

So without further ado, let's get to the drinking. I lined the bottles up, giving them individual numbers, and used an online random number generator to select a bottle at random. Today's bottle, the first one to kick us off, is bottle number five.

BOTTLE FIVE. SAMBUCA

Sambuca seems to be a very old drink, and is distilled from star anise. Therefore it tastes strongly of - wait for it - aniseed. So, off I go downstairs to fetch the Sambuca. It is actually 12:09 AM on the fifteenth, so I have actually missed the countdown, but operating on the basis that "today ends when I go to bed and tomorrow starts when I wake up", I'm okay.
Sambuca can be served after being set alight, but I don't want to burn it all and waste it, so I think I'll just get a shot glass.

Well, it definitely smells of aniseed. And it smells very strong too.

00:19 And now to drink it :)

Yikes. That stuff is rocket fuel. It's thicker/more viscous than most spirits so it coats the mouth nicely, and it definitely tastes very strongly of aniseed.

Actually I think it's pretty damn nice. I'll have to get myself a bottle - I've found a spirit I like!

After having taken a few sips, I notice that the taste definitely sticks, it's the sort of drink where you'd need to wash the taste away. It smells incredibly strongly, and as a pleasant warmth pervades my upper body, I note that at 40% alcohol, it's relatively strong too.

It's probably just as well that the bottle is only a miniscule 30ml (1.05 imperial ounces) bottle. I'd end up pissed, else.

What else have I been doing? I've finally actually gone and got the present for my ickle nephew that I really really wanted to get him. Pics below. Remember folks, this blog is Nephew-Proof until he reaches the age where santa stops existing.

Which reminds me - the sign to say that father christmas will be visiting on his van, is now up. He'll be round at 16:55 on the 24th, and my nephew and his mum will be coming to see him! fantastic!

Here are some pics anyways. The shot glass says Cognac, but it lies. This is sambuca. Incidentally, that glass is older than I am.

Peace.

Way On Down South...

London Town...

Yep, as is normal at this time of the year, my mum has coerced me into going to London with her.
Nothing wrong with that, I like the place enough, so I agreed to going along.

So, having got all my stuff ready the night before, I woke up (before the alarm went off) at what must have been about 4am, and spent the next hour, pissed off with my fortune, before the alarm made it clear that it was now time to get up.

So off we went, and after only what, 45 minutes of sitting around waiting for the coach, the thing turned up. Against my protests we ended up sat right at the front. "But you get a good view" you might think, and you'd be wrong. Ish.
A large sunscreen covered the top part of the windscreen, and the windows ended just above shoulder level. The portion of window I could see out of was mostly covered with no smoking signs and "well driven?" stickers. The seat didn't recline, and my seatbelt took about 10 minutes to pull itself tight after I fastened it.

But, after a four hours journey (it didn't seem that long) we ended up getting into Central London. We disembarked at Marble Arch and after a few minutes spent wandering through a warren of underpasses, we ended up in Hyde Park.

At the wrong end. You see, the weather in London yesterday wasn't that great, It was raining and it was cold, about 6c. We walked from Speaker's Corner to Knightsbridge, and by the time we got to the Serpentine, approx halfway there, we were soaked through (even the books for the trip that I'd put in my backpack were wet). But onwards we continued, and arrived at "Winter Wonderland", a Christmas market kindly set up for the City of London by our German friends.

Yep, everything was on sale, from Finnish (don't ask how Finnish products ended up at a German christmas market, I don't know either) Reindeer pelts (nice way to spend a lovely christmas, relaxing on one of Ruldolph's slaughtered mates. No, the animals were apparently killed for food and the pelts were a byproduct of the hunting) which were very soft, to Glühwein, or Frankfurter hotdogs (cooking on a HUGE (approx 5 foot across) grill pan hanging over a pit of glowing orange coals (sounds better than "cokes"), as well as arts and crafts, stalls selling various handmade items, plus a fairground (including a ghost train that promised, much to our amusement, "an experience that will haunt you through eternity/you will pass on through the generations"), a couple of cafes, and an ice skating rink.

All that was missing was the snow, and it would have been really really lovely.
Unfortunately, we didn't have snow, we had rain, and lots of it. We squelched around as people wearing binbags for protection from the rain wandered round, looking at the half empty rides, and the efforts of some of the staff of the largest cafe there (for a portable building it was BIG - they had a bar and grill and sky sports and everything) to sandbag the entrances so they wouldn't flood.
I watched as one kid working there, trying to help, picked up the wrong sandbag and watched its erstwhile nemesis flow through the gap created by this movement, and down towards the doors.
I think it made it as far as the floor inside.
We also took the opportunity to watch a poor kid skating on the ice rink (which itself was an inch deep in lovely just-above-freezing water) fall on his arse and get his trackies thoroughly soaked.

Eventually we left for Knightsbridge, getting to the other side, frankfurter-hotdog-less despite my pleadings, and we got into Harrods.
Well, Harrods is world famous, so I'm not going to go into its history. Interestingly though, I note that its motto is "All things for All people". And I'm gonna have to take exception to that.

Yes, Harrods sells practically anything, and incorporates an HMV and a Waterstone's (both the same company), but despite its best efforts (and the more I think about it the more I am beginning to believe that its motto may actually be more accurate than I give it credit for)
the place stinks of money. It might sell Krispy Kreme doughnuts for £2 each (made before your eyes!), and Gelato for £2.50 for a small plastic container, but it sells them on the same floor as £16,000 urns of tea and £1,300 jars of caviar.
No, Harrods isn't the place for me, it's too upmarket, you can't even go to the bathroom without some member of staff demanding that you have a good afternoon.
Don't get me wrong, the staff are incredibly polite, the range of products is incredible. Everything from popcorn to Bosendorfer grand pianos, mobile phones to 102-inch (I am not kidding!) plasma TVs. The interior decor is amazing with lush carpets, chandeliers, themed decor in different sections of the building, they score top marks on staff, building, and range of products.
And yet, something still doesn't sit right with me. I wander round the place buying things, and I still half-expect half a dozen security guards to suddenly ask me and my fellow shoppers to "please clear the room as His Imperial Majesty, Grand Poobar Vizier Spritzer-Hussar du Schleswig-Holstein the Third, is visiting shortly, once we can get all his personal entourage out of their fleet of Bentleys.

I get the feeling that me in all my red blooded normalness, and those like me, and even those not quite like me (the majority of people) are in the place at Harrods' sufferance, and despite the staff's good qualities, the entire shop would rather we all piss off so that more rich Schleswig-Holsteins will visit and spend a hundred billion Megaswiss Buckazoids on some new tassels for their curtains, or spend the cost of a new ferrarri on some "choice" food for their dog, which is invariably an annoying yappy little shi-t (no "zu" here).

We wandered round though, spent some money, I went to buy a new cleaning cloth for my camera lenses (which had fogged up incredibly due to the weather) and ended up £5 lighter in my pocket. 50p for the piece of toilet tissue sized cleaning cloth, and £4.50 for the privelige of owning a Harrods receipt that confirms that I was graciously allowed to spend money there.

I managed to sample some of the Gelato, which was absolutely brilliant. The best Ice Cream I've ever had. Even if they did charge us £2.50 for what works out at about 150ml of ice cream, if that. I looked around enviously at those at the nearby Gelato bar, eating huge massive sundaes piled high with the stuff. And then with a smile I remembered that my wallet still had money in it.

We ended up leaving. I came close to hitting people after getting bored with people bumping into me (always ugly people, attractive sexy people who I WANT to bump into me never seem to bother) and off we went to the Tower of London.

Which is weird because the Tower is actually a fortress, or at least a group of buildings. We took the opportunity to go to the Jewel House and see the actual real crown jewels, (when I think about it, I'm amazed that these things are on display), featuring the biggest diamond in the world, the second and third biggest, the fourth, sixth, seventh etc etc etc. Harrods might have reeked of money, but nowhere did I see a single item with a value of tens of millions. Here they were lined up by the dozen. Absolutely incredible.

I wandered around the Royal Armouries and took some photos, as it started to go dark.
The rain abated a little, and as we left the Tower, we noted that the ice rink (another one) situated in the old moat, that had had an inch or so of water on it, still had an inch of water on it, but was now thronged with people and was buzzing with life.

Eventually we went to get something to eat. Garfunkel's, on the Strand. I had some nachos, and a huge burger, and it was pretty good. Nothing worth going into too much detail about, a burger and a beer, it was nice. Even if the beer was a genuine "Sold in London at London Prices" beer, which means it cost us (my mum actually) £7 for two normal sized bottles.

After that, we went to a pub opposite the coach station, had another drink in there, and then waited a short time for the coach.

Whats more to say? Another four hours journey later, and we were home. I had a quick shower, and then very gratefully dove into bed. And slept for the next 12 hours.

Of course, here are the photos (of my trip not of me sleeping).



And as promised, I also have the photos from my trip to Kelham Island, with my family.



Peace.

Can someone turn the Christmas music up please!!!

Because I can't bloody hear it!

Yes, I woke up earlier, decided my hearing wasn't fantastic and decided to try to clean my ears.
Not a smart move, as this only made it worse, resulting in an almost total loss of hearing in my left ear.

So I've been to the chemist and got some eardrops, and now as well as being temporarily deaf in one ear, I am temporarily deaf in one ear with my ears full of liquid.

Bleah. Still, hopefully I should be back on form soon.

Christmas Preparations! Actual real ones this time!

10:34 Yep, I'm just at this minute putting the candle arch in my window, and then I'm gonna put the sparkly "glowworm" lights around my room.

And for some reason my sister has just turned up. Oh well, she can help!

16:53 After something of a busy day, I have cleaned the landing, banisters etc getting the house ready for putting the decorations up, and I've also managed to clear out the bottom drawer of my wardrobe, which was originally so messy it was a no-go area.
After over 6 hours and about as many cups of coffee, I'm now finally ready to put up my Christmas lights.

As an aside, My sister and I are not long returned from the local vets, who have scanned the dog, now named "Tess" for a microchip. No chip was found, which I suppose makes the dog exclusively my sister's responsibility. The vet also estimated the dog's age to be 6-12 months.

She continues to be cute, lovable, hyper and sociable.

17:11 I've now finally managed to get my personal Xmas lights up. They consist of nothing more than a 7-bulb candle arch, and a string of 200 "glow worm lights" (their name for twinkling multicoloured lights).
Putting decorations up is funny. It's fun and infuriating in equal measure.
A bit like my nephew who is currently kicking me and doing the opposite of whatever he is told.

22:32 Well, we've had a nice wander round, we took the dog for a walk along with my nephew, and we decided to turn the dog walk into a trip to the "Magical Christmas Kingdom" - the next estate, which has loads and loads of Xmas lights up already. We went to see our grandad - he seems to be doing well and we're looking forward to his visit on Christmas Day - and while we were out, we went on a little christmas quest:

The Christmas Quest

From my bedroom window, deep inside the next estate, on the distant hill facing our house, I can see one very brightly lit house, lit with a huge array of Christmas lights.

Curiosity has led me to wonder which house it is, on which road, and what the view from that place must be like. So tonight we set out, and after about 30 minutes walking we actually found the exact house that I can see all the way from my bedroom window. Looking back towards my house, and yep, you can see the candle arch in my bedroom window, far off in the distance.

Call me easily amused, but I think it added a little purpose to our nice christmassy trek, and it gave my nephew something to concentrate on :).

Well, we got back to find that one set of christmas lights has stopped working (always always happens every christmas, apparently, to every family), other than that, my mum's been working hard to get the tree decorated.

Well, I'm relaxing with sponge and custard now, in my nicely decorated bedroom. Once that's done, I'm off to bed :).

Night :).

Christmas Preparations!

Not medical preparations, not preparation H or anything like that, and nothing herbal either, just generally getting ready for Christmas.

Having got up at the (for me) fairly late time of 9am, (having spent the past hour or so turning the alarm off every ten minutes - what is the point of having an alarm clock if you turn the thing off??) I looked out of the window to see a typical winter's morning landscape - EVERYTHING absolutely covered in thick frost, but an incredibly intense and bright winter sunshine already beaming down on everything.

First Christmassy job? Put the presents that have already been wrapped into the loft again. The loft ladder stores the cold from the night, almost cold enough to burn my hands in our otherwise warm house. The presents now in the loft, I go downstairs to chat to mum who's still wrapping boxes and boxes of the things - I've got another 3 that need wrapping too.

It looks like she's really made an effort this year, even more than usual. Now she's putting a sparkly garland round each present, and with this, a little christmas cracker. It looks really nice and I have to admit, seeing them all stacked up in their shiny wrapping with the little crackers and cards and nametags and everything, I seem to enjoy a private thrill of childish excitement, unbecoming for someone my age.

So what's on the agenda for today? Well, my sister is coming round with my nephew, sans doggie (I believe) and we're off to Kelham Island christmas exhibition thingie which they have every year I think, nothing spectacular but a nice family christmas morning out - imagine an English victorian Christmas market set in what used to be an old industrial complex (is now an industrial heritage site) and you're pretty much there.

Once we're back, I imagine it's at that point that we're gonna start getting on with the Christmas decorations.

10:23 well, it looks like my sister and nephew are here, and they are not sans doggie, they are mit hund! or avec un chien or whatever the other one is.

Hmm. How's that going to work. Dog's don't like Don Engines. This one would probably go and try to chase the crank wheel round and round and round and round and...

Well I'm off to say hello to them, I'll be back later!

10:29 Yep, it looks like we're off out :).

10:48 Well, due to my mum misplacing her keys, we've now had 25 minutes of my dad laying down the law to all and sundry, regardless of their role in the matter, and generally having a go at anyone who isn't on his side.
It's all finished now though, the arguing has stopped, and the keys are found. But, now I don't feel like going anywhere, particularly not with him.
He's quite good at that you know, he finds any bit of joy there is in the house and kills it quickly and expertly. You'd think Christmas would be different, but no, it never is, he has to be right, even then.

Oh well, my nephew and the doggie are here I think I'll go and enjoy their company for a bit :).

11:11 Right, my dad seems to have begun to grasp the fact that there's no point being "right" all the time if it sets everyone off against you, so he's calmed down somewhat. So it looks like we are actually going after all.

Lola, her cute self, is generally wandering around quite happily, eating magazines and having her tummy rubbed.

Still, I spose I'd best turn the computer off and get ready to go out :). Later.
14:41 Right, We're back, and we've had a pretty good time. I will go into more detail, but right now I have to go and walk the dog with my sis. We ended up leaving her behind.

Back soon!

16:05 Right, I've spent the past 20 minutes processing my photos from our trip, which turned out to be pretty nice. I'll stick them up when I'm done. Right now though, I'm dying for a cup of coffee so I'll go and get one and be back with you in a few minutes.

16:14 OK I was more than a few minutes, because I've been detailed to do some christmassy cleaning in the dining room, which I'll do shortly. Soo, where to pick up from.

After a short but uneventful trip we got to Kelham Island, and I noticed that what was once a lonely little industrial museum in the middle of a run down industrial complex, was now surrounded on all sides by gleaming (well they would be gleaming if they weren't built out of those reddish orangey stone coloured bricks that everyone seems to find so fashionable these days) new residential buildings, giving the entire place the vague air of that restaurant out of Batteries Not Included (the bit where this tiny restaurant stands in between two huge skyscrapers). I noted on the way in that the river had completely frozen over, which doesn't happen often here.

What can I say? If you like Industrial History then go for it, it's a fascinating place. What I will say, is that it made me proud to be from Sheffield.
"How can you be proud of something you have no control over?" Asks Mr A. Nobhead, director of joe public's stupid questions committee". I have to admit, it is a fair question, even while simultaneously being a trite overused platitude. I don't have an answer, because I'm not a psychologist, so there. Sod off.

We had a wander around, looked at all the exhibits, and bought some sweets for my nephew - these bring back memories, flying saucers! There was a brass band (if three people constitutes a band) playing christmas carols, which added a seasonal air to the proceedings, and the place was full of impressive machinery.

An internal combustion engine with a piston over 20 inches wide, driving a flywheel over 6 foot across, was one of the exhibits that had a room to itself, but there were even larger machines powering the industry, one of which, the main attraction of the museum, lay elsewhere on the site. We managed to hurry into the largest room of the complex, which contained the Don Engine itself, to watch the hourly demonstration, and while the demonstration of this huge machine was markedly short, I was still amazed, as I am every time I see her, by the noise, and sheer power of this machine.
Fifty-plus tons of flywheel flying round at 70 RPM doesn't sound like a lot, but when that flywheel is, at a guess, ten feet across, it's fast. The three huge pistons powerered up and down, and amongst the hissing of compressed air (the machine was powered by steam at 160psi but is now powered by compressed air at 6psi if i remember correctly) and the grinding of huge gears, was the rhythmic thump-thump-thump of the engine, that was more felt than heard.
Altogether, it was a noise that I've only ever heard while standing in the presence of that thing, and as it's officially the most powerful steam engine in Europe, and 40% more powerful than the more modern machines that do its job in today's industry, you'll not hear that noise anywhere else.

See a video of the engine in steam here. (Not my video)
Read more here.

So we had a nice time all in all, I bumped into a mate of mine, and although my ickle nephew started feeling a bit sorry for himself (a bit of a cold or something), we managed to have a pretty nice day.

Well, now it's 16:54, and I'm off to do some christmas tidying. We've got the decorations to do!
I'll add the photos later.

23:19 Right, I'm going to try to make this brief, because I'm going to Manchester at 6am tomorrow, and I'm very tired indeed.

I've been carried off by my mum to a concert I knew nothing about two days ago. It was one of those christmas classical things, with a choir and a classical orchestera and stuff, and I have to admit, while being incredibly different to the last time I went to town (and danced like a loony to very loud music) this was also actually very good. The lineup featured six very very good soloists, who in the manner of soloists everywhere, seemed exquisitely happy when they were performing. I don't know why.

But yes, a good night was had by all, and it was actually rather good, so maybe I'll go again sometime.

I'm not going to put the photos up tonight, sorry I'm too busy/tired, but don't worry I'll put them up at some point :).

Laters!

A dog is for life...

...but they never say who's life, do they? If I was buying a dog and someone told me I'd have it for the rest of my life, I'd spend the rest of that life worrying about just what was going to cut me down in only another 10-15 years.

Evidently a dog isn't actually for life, and it seems isn't even for christmas, in the case of "lola" (provisional name), a rather raggedy looking (but very hyper and incredibly affectionate) wiry haired dog of unknown (and highly suspect) genetic provenance, who it seems had the bad fortune (for her, and probably for her owners) to find herself wandering the streets of a small town in Tameside, Greater Manchester - a county not known for its balmy californian summers - at the arse end of November.

Fortunately for her, she was taken in by a family of lovely dog lovers, but after a week of trying to find the original (and when this failed, some new) owners, my sister and I ended up going along to Tameside to have a look. My sis, it turns out, had been after a dog for ages. So off we all went.

Wow. I've never ever seen a dog so incredibly hyper as this one. Licking everyone, jumping up a good few feet off the ground, wagging her tail so hard that any fleas she might have had, had since been embedded in the walls like darts, and, actually genuinely chasing her tail - I thought this was something dogs only did in cartoons, but no, round and round and round she went.

After a few minutes, it was apparent that we were going to be returning back to Sheffield with the dog, and five minutes after that, we were driving around Tameside with said doggie sitting in my nephew's lap, looking through the window and watching the world go by.

So that's it really, I had said that I "don't like mutts" (as opposed to nice pedigrees like my old rottweiler or my boxer) but then I said the same about kids before my nephew was born and the same about cats before my sister's pair insinuated themselves into our lives.

I have to admit, the dog and I seem to have taken to each other, at least to a degree, I sat with her in my lap on the way back, cradling her so that she wouldn't jump down under the pedals or onto the handbrake or whatever (I wasn't the driver). I'd noticed after a while that she had calmed down, and actually felt rather heavy in my arms.

Thinking to myself that it would just be so in keeping with the past few months to end up cradling a deceased dog, I had a quick check, to find that after only having first met me 40 minutes earlier, she apparently felt comfortable enough to drift off to sleep in my arms.

An incredibly docile and friendly dog indeed!

We got back, introduced her to everyone, and then went out for a nice little walk with the dog.
So out we were, in the freezing cold dark evening, me, my nephew, my sis and her dog, and we were out for a nice 25ish minutes, wandering around, looking at christmas lights.

Which brings me back to Christmas. There are a surprising number of people putting their decorations up already, which is cool, as it brightens the place up (pun not intended) and adds a seasonal air to the place, which can only be a good thing.

Apparently we're due to pur our own decorations up tomorrow, which going on past experience translates roughly into "I'll do the tree, then sit watching TV while you do everything else".
Okay so that's a bit of an exaggeration, but it seems that apart from the outside lights (which only go up when we have them, which isn't very often) which are put up by my dad, my mum and I do the majority of the Christmas decorating ourselves, with me doing more than my fair share of that.

But hey who cares, it needs to get done and it's nice to do it. Really puts me in the christmas mood. And now that I have employment, of sorts, I can finally get into the Christmas spirit, without worrying - too much - about money anymore.

In all the excitement what with the new dog, and the decorations and everything, one thing I have made the small effort to bear in mind is the fate of/effect on the previous owners of Lola. I have already expressed my opinion that, as cold as it sounds, I hope she was dumped, rather than simply ran off. Why would I say such a cruel thing?

Because she is a hyperactive, very sociable, very trusting, funny, and downright lovable dog, and I wouldn'y wish the accidental loss of a beloved family pet - particularly one with a temperament as lovely as Lola's - on anyone, especially not at this time of year. My sis will be taking the dog to be scanned for an ID chip, and I guess that if she is chipped, her return to her loving owners would be the best Christmas present they could ever hope for. If she isn't, then there's nothing else that can be done, though I'm sure we are all already on our way to becoming her new family, and it seems that Lola - for no one knows her "real" name, has taken to us just as much as we have taken to her. She even went to sleep in my bedroom earlier.

See you soon!

Oh, and here's the doggie! :).

Snow!

"Snow, snow snow snow" As they do sing on our christmas tape.

Yep, having heard rumours that it was due to snow today, I looked out of the window last thing before going to bed at the fairly early time of 10:30pm, and again when I got woken up by my mum stamping about at 1:30am. Nothing, not even a little drizzle.

But, it seems the weather forecasts were surprisingly accurate, as I looked out of the window this morning to find 5cm of snow on the ground, and still snowing! Yay!

After getting the camera out to take a nice shot (do you know how annoying it is taking 25 second exposures when someone drives past on his way to work every 24 second, in the cold, in the snow?), I've made myself a nice coffee, and I'm now sat here listening to various christmas tunes that have the word "snow" in the title. I've only got the two.

Bored yet? Sorry I've only been up 36 minutes, I haven't had time to do anything interesting yet. My plan for the day? Drink lots and lots of coffee, and play MOO3 all day. I might do some more work on my dad's Xmas pressie too. In fact, I shall probably get on with that before I play MOO, because that game just sucks you in and won't let you out until bedtime.

I should probably also have a shave. I look like Jonathan Frakes.

Oh, and as for my "job?"

I phoned them up yesterday, and got passed around for about five minutes (I only got passed to one other guy, who evidently didn't want to say much), to be told that they had in fact decided to take me on. Yay!

And when do I start? Ah.

December 15th.

Fantastic eh? Still, at least I don't have to worry about some big hefty guys from "camera repossessions incorporated" smashing my windows and nicking my camera, anymore.


I would show you my nice snowy photo but for two reasons - one, I'm sure that unless your name is several words long with a couple of "Al"s thrown in for good measure, you know what snow looks like. (If your name IS actually several words long with a couple of "Al"s thrown in for good measure, just imagine lots of white clumpy sand dropping from the sky.

The other reason is it's shot right outside our front door, so sticking it up would be like sticking a big red "I live here!" arrow on google earth!

Still, snow. Cool.

:)

The start of the christmas season!

Okay, we're getting closer to Christmas now, the temperature is regularly dipping below freezing, and frost and ice are beginning to appear again as they do every year. A few places have got trees, lights and other decorations up already, and everyone is beginning to feel christmassy.

Today, my mum and I indulged in a little christmas tradition, and went to Gainsborough Old Hall, as we do each year. It's nothing hugely special, lots of stalls selling hand made items, jewellry, cushions etc etc, sounds a bit boring when I describe it I suppose, but it's pretty nice. There's christmas music and christmas trees, people in period costumes selling their wares, and in the great kitchen, is a lovely warm fire, where you can sit, listen to the music and eat your mince pie and fruit punch. It's very christmassy and a nice start to the Christmas season, which is I suppose, why we go.

So I looked out of my window first thing this morning to see... well, not much actually. A Blanket of thick, thick fog covered everything, and where it was too low for the fog to reach, ice and frost covered the remainder. Still, after bundling myself into the car (and waiting 15 minutes for my mum to find an appropriate pair of shoes), off we went. A nice uneventful journey later and we were there.

As we made our way to the entrance though, something large and feathered flew from one side of the courtyard to the other, behind some shrubs. Out came my camera and I scooted off carefully to see what it was. I got round the corner and saw a couple of birds, one much larger than the other. Once I was spotted, they both flew away.
After a fashion; See, the smaller bird wasn't so much flying under its own power as hanging limply from the beak of the much larger bird. The larger bird flew back to the first side of the courtyard, and as I approached again, dumped the second bird in a pile of feathers, and flew up to the roof, leaving behind his meal.
And some meal it was too. A huge, massive, fat, adult pigeon.
Or most of one, at least.

The larger bird (I can't tell whether it was a Merlin or a Sparrowhawk - or something else entirely) stared at me resentfully from the roof, as we made our way into the entrance.

The pigeon did not stare at me resentfully, or at the entrance, or even at its killer.
I couldn't say what it was staring at. Not without knowing where the sparrowhawk left its head.

So we went round the building, looked at all the craft stuff, and it was good to see the same familiar faces. We managed to go and get a mince pie and some punch each, and even managed to get a place in front of the fire, during which time we were subjected to extremely bad christmas music, played on a banjo and violin - I suspect he may have been deliberately playing badly to raise a few laughs, but I wouldn't bet money on it.

After this, we went into Gainsborough town itself, stopping for a very nice portion of chips and sausage, as we always do, and then continued wandering round the town, popping into the soon to be defunct Woolworths, where we managed to find another Christmas present for me to give someone. Poor as I may be, I can't see people go without! I also noticed that Woolworths sell VERY LARGE Toblerones, one of which I have asked for for christmas!

Once we'd been round the town, back we came, stopping in at the new retail development (where we found a jeweller's shop with a sign written in a very unfortunate typefac), as well as a local garden center on the way back, taking the opportunity to look through the christmas decorations while we were there. And then home.

So it's been a pretty nice day, I shot loads of video (because I like doing things like that) and got a few nice photos.

Yesterday I figured I'd try out the doughnut maker my sister gave to us, to see if it was any good.
Was it? Well, hmmm, in a pinch, the doughnuts are pretty edible, especially if you glaze them (I didn't). On the other hand, given the choice, I'd rather go to GT News in Sheffield and get a couple of fresh hot doughnuts. I cooked 28, of which about 20 went in the bin. Shame, but they weren't particularly fantastic, and had gone cold by the time my mum got back anyway.

Work on my dad's Christmas present continues, and I've visited pizza hut yet AGAIN to find out why the hell the manager didn't call me on wednesday. He swears (again) that he will call me on monday.

And finally, bits of my laptop are going up for sale tomorrow. Having stripped it down to the last screw, there's not a lot that will earn me much money. But hopefully it might just stop me from becoming destitute.

But hey, let's see what happens on monday! Here are some more sparkly photos for you :). I didn't take the cymbal ones today, obviously.

Help! Christmas Crisis...

Okay, I'm not a happy bunny. Having attended one interview, a two hour "experience session" or whatever the hell they call it, and having made numerous phone calls to my would-be boss, I'm still no closer to finding out whether I actually have a job for Christmas, or not. I'm feeling more than a little fecked around with at this point.

Other than that, there's only so much an unemployed guy who doesn't go out can report. I dug the lego out of the loft, and after six hours of bloody tedious and hard work, I managed to put together something a little special for my nephew :). A little neptune underwater base or whatever he decides to call it.

We also managed to get something together for my sister's Bday, a night out round the local clubs, which went extremely well. Much beer was drunk, lots of dancing was done, lots of music was listened to (too bloody much, we went on saturday night and I've still got slight earache and ringing in my ears on a wednesday!) We got back at about 4:30am at which time it had started snowing, and about 5am, I decided to run home from my sister's house.

It was nice to run back, it was extremely quiet, I think I only saw three cars on the way back, everyone else must have been in bed, and still the snow came down.

Well, let's hope that we can sort something out for Christmas, right now I'm not sure what the hell I'm supposed to do. My nephew wants that airplane.

Still, here's hoping, eh?

Here's his little underwater base :)

Happy Birthday To Fliss...

And I thought I had it bad...

Yesterday (as of about 30 minutes ago) was my sister's birthday. The big two-one. yeah, without me even realising it, my innocent little sister with her b*witched albums and her sponsored dances and her crash bandicoot games and her secret diaries and suchlike, has without me even realising it, made the jump to full fledged adulthood, and as of yesterday, is a genuine real Twenty-One years old.

Christ, that's a scary thought. Obviously I'm generalising, but it feels like the last major thing I remember with my Sis is me trying to play some rally game (i still have it, I'm too lazy to find the disc) while she and her friend practiced for the fundraising dance in ASDA.
Next thing I know, she's going to University, not only that, but she's not even new there, she's carving her way through a university course, and her 21st has crept up on every single damn person in the world, especially me.

Which royally sucks. It seems no one has got her a god-damn thing. I haven't, to my parents it was just another day, my brother might have, I don't know. I've tried to mitigate it by promising something nice for christmas, but I can't even guarantee that.

I've got sick of unemployment, I applied for that scootay job. I got called in for an interview with a dude called Simon - and I think it went pretty well - he's a biker, so am I, he's ex RAF, I'm ex TA, he's a photographer, so am I, okay so I'm not looking to move in with him but there's nothing wrong with sharing your future boss's interests.

Anyway I got called back for an "observation" thingie - I go and look at life in the restaurant and see if it's for me. At the end, I get asked if I like it, I lie, and I get the job.

No, the place hasn't changed since I used to be there, and it used to be a second home last time, I used to be one of the regular staff, and I have a long if somewhat chequered history with that place. It's good to be back doing something that I remember doing :).

So now I'm waiting to find out if I have got myself a temporary christmas job.

So wht else have I been doing? Well, I've been continuing work on my dad's xmas pressie, (it's a lot of bloody work!!) and I've been trying to review bad technology. Yes folks, I've been trying to review the mustek DV4000 mini camcorder, but ultimately failed due to my review being 13 minutes, where youtube only allows 10 minutes.

Still. My nephew managed to go to Disney on Ice last night, and I spose for an ickle four year old, it must have been an awesome experience. I knew nothing about it until about 2 hours before my family were due to set off, but I managed to demand that my mum buy him a slush puppy should the opportunity arise, and sure enough he got one.

He came back last night, with a huge grin, a slush puppy cup in the shape of Nemo, he loved it, I've never seen him so happy.

It was brilliant. I just hope I can make the little guy's christmas. He's told me what he wants enough times, I just hope I can get it for him :).

and since I'm missing the obligatory music video links I'll stick them here.

Here: Nightwish's new vocalist spreads her wings. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GdZn7k5rZLQ

And of course, you have to read the misheard lyrics :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWd6j5rphtg

But apart from this nightwish happiness, it seems CoF have released another album without me noticing (rectified now), and it seems to me that at this late hour, their angry screamings are in fact much more mature than their previous offerings, with a lot more emotional depth.

Yes, angry Suffolk based satanic [or not] screamers, Cradle of Filth have released a new album, "Godspeed on the Devil's Thunder" (The life and crimes of Gilles de Rais), a thematic studio album based on the life, (more the crimes actually) of Gilles de Rais, a gentleman who was once a proud French soldier, before succumbing to the dark side of the force (er, more accurately, sodomy, torture, serial killing and satanism).

Now normally neue Arbeit would kill off any mention of serial killing, on the grounds that it's not in keeping with the family model. Torture would be regarded as an infringement of the human rights (or inhuman, as the case increasingly seems to be, these days) of the subject, serial killing would be a stain on the mark of the local police (funny that this album should come from an Ipswich band, I notice with some wry amusement)... As for Satanism? Well we can't have that can we? That's just un-islamic!!!

Anyway I found myself surprised by the difference between the previous batch of angry satanic god hating musical rants, and this latest batch of angry satanic god hating musical rants.

Now before all you so-called hardcore satanists get your fishnets in a twist, I love this album. I've loved previous CoF albums, Thornography perhaps more than Nymphetamine, but this one seems to have all the emotional depth and maturity of nymphetamine with all the energy and general screaminess of Thornography.

Doug Bradley, of Hellraiser fame also makes his presence felt in this album, having also done the narration for Thornography, Midian and Nymphetamine. Also joining the CoF ensemble is the new face, Martin Škaroupka, who, happily, is as talented as the previous guy, Adrian Erlanddson.

Still, give the album a try, you can get one of the tunes here :).

I'm very very tired now, night!

Bonfire Night

Hey! What an imaginitive name!

Well, I've just sat down with something to eat and drink, and I'm achey and generally tired. Why? Because yesterday I beat my distance/time endurance record by running 4.56 miles in 50 minutes (I'm going for endurance not speed, so anyone who wants to point out what my average speed is can feck off). I'm also tired because I've come back from 4 hours wandering around a field with my family, watching After Dark 2008, and balancing my nephew on my shoulders for the better part of 35 minutes.

The fireworks display was spectacular, the bonfire was huge, the entertainment was provided by a band called "Craine", who sounded decent, despite being relatively unknown (you heard it here first, folks), the event was well attended, the weather was okay, and the company was ok.

I managed to get the entire thing on video, from start to finish, despite my camera playing silly buggers and the battery level indicator going from "NO BATTERY" to two (out of three) bars repeatedly.

My nephew won a prize on the hook-a-duck thingie, and I successfully resisted te urge to start hitting people after getting tired of people behaving like I had a white striped painted line down my back. My parents also avoided anything like a major argument, which was a pleasant surprise.

So what else have I been up to? Applying for jobs mostly. I'm expecting a call to arrange an interview (going to be a scoot-ay rider for pizza hut just to get some christmas cash together), and my fitness continues to improve.

Other than that, I've been continuing work on getting ready for christmas, and went on another photo trip to Manchester Airport the other day. One photographer made a point of waving at every plane taxiing to the runway, as a result, I have a relatively high number of photos with the co-pilot waving back, including one with the co-pilot with a cheery grin giving us all a thumbs-up. But hey, it's Christmas soon, and I'll hopefully have something sorted well in advance :).

Have fun people :).

The "C Word"

Right. Sorry about that. Despite being unhappilly unemployed in the runup to christmas (try it, it's fun! Not.)I've been quite busy. This is real busy as opposed to "leave me alone i don't want company" busy, I've been getting on with sorting out one christmas present in particular (not giving me any trouble but is pretty time consuming), finding a christmas job, and generally getting fit.

So yes, employment fun, woohoo. Went down to XYZ place to see if they have any vacancies. The guy at the desk says "yes we have, but you have to apply on our website. Use this reference number".

So I go onto the website, type in the reference number, no matches found.

YAY!

So I've fired off a couple of emails (politely) asking what the hell is going on and are there jobs at XYZ place or not. I hope I get a quick response on account of Christmas being about 8 weeks away.

Which kinda brings me to the main point of today's entry, the great big C word. No, I mean the seasonal one. with QVC selling Christmas themed stuff already, and the local shops being full to bursting of tinsel, you could be forgiven for thinking it's December. Admittedly it isn't, but it's beginning to feel that way. I spose it will have just gotten round to being December by the time it does actually feel that way, which is incredibly convenient for everyone concerned, especially those lucky few who make their living designing advent calendars.

Yes, I've been working on my christmas list, and have been continuing to make (yes, make, as opposed to buy) one of the christmas presents. I'm beginning to form a list in my mind of what I'd like to buy everyone, but it is a bit sparsely populated, so all ideas welcome, apply to the usual address.
Obviously if you don't know my address then I don't know you well enough to be buying you Christmas presents.

So yes, Not much else to report, my fitness continues to improve etc et, going to the airport a week on monday, which is good, and now I think I'm off for a coffee.

But before I do, My christmas list is here. Yes, I spent a while carefully and artistically writing my list in beautiful lettering, with the net result that it looks a mess and no bugger can understand it. Seems that in that particular style of writing, no one used numbers, so everything had to be in Roman Numerals, which was fair enough as they're generally consistent and to the point.
Generally being the operative word.

To replace my completely stupid waste of time of a graphics card, I decided I would like something a bit more powerful. There was the opportunity of one becoming available, that question has now been answered with the typical "nah maybe not" I'm used to life throwing at me when it looks like things may be going my way, but it put the idea in my mind.

I figured to replace the 512mb 8500gt with a 512mb 8800gt was a very good idea, on account of the 8800s crashing down in price. "Fine" I thought, "I'll put an 8800GT on my Xmas list".

Unfortunately 8800 in Roman Numerals is MMMMMMMMDCCC or something like that. So I just cheated. See for yourself :). Links to the other stuff I find cool enough to put on my Xmas list, also :).

Nvidia Geforce 8800GT
Gerber Recon LED Torch
Montane Featherlite*
Jetboil System
Jetboil Accessories
Assorted Gems

Sorry about the formatting, this thing's about as versatile as a brick. Why do I want gems? Simple, they're nice and shiny and I haven't bought any for a while.

*Why did I misspell "Montane" on my Xmas list? Simple. Andy Stewart misspelled it on his website. Bleh.

Right!

Okay, first of all, some bizarre twist of fate has destroyed the slideshow I had running on my account of the towers getting knocked down. Let me go and fix that this instant: (01:21).

01:27 - RIGHT they're working again.

Okay, so what have I been up to?
I would say "not much" which given my current situation, you'd be forgiven for believing. And you'd also be wrong.

In all honest, I've been "making", yes "making" as opposed to buying, a christmas present. And yes I've been spending 12 hours a day for about the past 6 days exceeding my bandwidth limit, wearing the letters off my keyboard, crashing my computer through lack of memory, and generally doing sincere family christmas work while cunningly looking like I was selfishly spending time on my computer...

Right... Let's get in the mood.

It's 04:29, the window is open, the smell of wet asphalt and bonfire smoke drifts in through the window, the lights are out, and this is on... Don't worry, I'll wait, I don't mind if youtube is slow (It has amazing guitar solos anyway).

So what has been happening recently?

Well, as my somewhat hasty blog hinted, I've not been up to much. nothing outside the house at least. I've been taking Christmas pretty seriously though, and have been working, as I said, for 12 hours a day, on a christmas present for one particular person. I'm not going to go into detail just now, maybe in a couple of month's time.

So what else has been happening? My fitness has improved. Far from considering 10 minutes the absolute ragged edge of my running, I've settled into a steady pace and can now run for 20 or 25 minutes, longer even. My training, as per the army "pre recruitment fitness" thingy seems to go well, and not before time it seems.

My dad has renewed his efforts to get me to go into the police, which is, for him, fairly alarming. It seems that with my dad's insistence that I go into the police, and my mum's continuous statements that I "won't be available" for their 2009 years in Italy, it semes they're finally convinced that the Army is where my future lies.
Good. I'd never really been 100% convinced. Now maybe the family's beginning to take it seriously. I can just get on with it,

The time draws closer, I'm getting fitter, and sooner or later I'm gonna have to sign on the dotted line, which both scares me and exhilarates me. I don't want to spend the rest of my life in crappy dead end jobs. And as for this recession? the future remains to be seen I suppose.

Civilian employers are hardly likely to be hiring. Which is fair enough, considering I wouldn't take a civilian job for than a couple of months. The world is falling to bits, financially, politically and militarily.

It seems that no one is assured of an easy life, and at least at the sharp end, I get to take some shots in anger, of my own. Let's see what happens.

I'll keep you updated.